eternal sunshine of my spotless mind

My Sad Truth

2011-07-01T09:43:00.003+08:00

Unfortunately, I feel that the only person one can rely on is oneself.
God is not a person. The Universe is not a person.
You can rely on God & The Universe, and yourself, and that's about all.

Of course I am writing this feeling down. I write down stuff when down and I don't pretend that it is sunny when it is not. It is safer to say that I shall never want to have hope in any Mankind so that I will never experience another piercing sting to my heart. But being alive, I may forget this and then start to love or trust again. This is foolishness and I am foolhardy, I can't deny that. I have famously said that if it doesn't hurt, it ain't love. And that, again is yet another ironic view. Love hurts. Do you want it or want it not?

In the middle of the night

2011-06-21T03:39:00.001+08:00

Fumbling with the keyboard on iPad can be frustrating, especially when I can't find the underscore key and tab. No tab, how to enter from title bar to text box? Well, this is learning and using my dinosaur brain to adapt.

Life has been great. We're having another baby sometime in October. 3rd the doctor said. But I think it might be earlier.

Finding Solace

2010-08-26T12:25:00.005+08:00

I tried reaching Adeline but found yet another end. End, not dead end.
Adeline has been a dearest friend and I don't know how we became like this.
She is just one person who will never think any wrong of me and no one shares our oddness as much as the two of us.

The past two months was a tough period for me. It was dark and, was very dark.

I don't find myself telling anyone about my troubles most of the time. In fact, the more serious the problem, the more I won't talk. Maybe it is because most of the time, I am the pillar for my friends and I help them gain positive insights, and so I thought I shall not shake their faith.
But I think that this is also not very right for me, cos sometimes, I ought to let in some tenderness when I need it, cos after all, I am human too.

What happened the past 2 months had permanent effect and was a setback in my life.
I am still grappling with it and am learning as I go along. Learning to trust life, learning to have faith in the midst of darkness and most of all, learning to maintain a positive outlook, although the latter is the most trying of all.

It is funny how life delivers its packages to me in bite-sizes.

The other day, I had an overwhelming wave of anxiety. All the thoughts about having to work and fend for myself, and to provide till I am old and grey, engulfed me.

I told myself not to frighten myself too much, cos many times, I may just be a tad too worrisome.

For now, I juggle with what I have in hand and shall trust that all will work out fine.

Soul Be It

2009-11-29T20:35:00.000+08:00

http://soulbeit.blogspot.com/

Another phase of my life

Intoxication

2009-11-24T22:06:00.003+08:00

I am under the influence of alcohol. It will be amusing to see what entry I have here.

Ok, first of all, I am a lousy drinker. I am only on Alize. Cognac only.

So, I'm getting a high on cognac and classical music bursting in my ears via the ear phones.

It is November and my BD has passed.

I didn't go any where out of the country although I still could if I really want to. I have tickets to Gentings Highland. But I shall not utilize it because it is more important to be at home now that my bloody maid is gone. Saddam damn bitch. Fucking hell. Let's not talk about it. I almost want to see her in hell but I thought I am better than that. I let it pass.

So anyway. Here am I. All full 36 years old. Too old to live too young to die. No lar. This is just the alcohol working. Ha ha. So anyway, Finally I am going for formal painting lessons although it scares the hell of me. Not the painting, painting comes naturally. It is the socializing. I HATE socializing with new people. I dont know them, they dont know me. Who cares about what happends to me or them. But for the sake of my baby, I must push my boundary. Come on. It wont kill me to step out. What can be worse? Just people thinking you're a moroon.

Ok, so anyway. I love painting and I am so bloody glad I persued it.

So, my BD came and went. I played Cashflow 101 with PW till 4 in the morning. what a way to spend my BD. come on come on, get out of the rat race! to have money is not enough! you need to have passive income. Passive! means that even if you're sleeping, you're still getting paid!. It is really easier said than done.

Kiki is a superb baby. I love her to pieces. I am so damn glad that the episodes with the maid happened. I now am able to handle my baby! Oh Great!.

So anyway... there's nothing new happening. Just that I wanna paint.

Good night.

2nd September 2009

2009-09-02T16:57:00.008+08:00

I dont know what's happening. I am somewhat bored or somewhat listless. or somewhat in a vacume. I am not very sure what im doing. Every day, I wake up at six in the morning and once in a blue moon i dont feel like getting up but most of the days i have no problem getting up. work starts at 830 but i reach office at 730 and make myself a cup of coffee and whatever breakfast that i may be having which is usually 2 slices of bread with my favourite butter, salted butter. Then I'll run through my work emails and probably start with work. Half the time wanting to do something else like surfing the net but will have no clue what to surf and end up deleting junk mails from my mailbox. Then when the clock strikes 830, I'll officially be busy with real work till 6 in the evening and then I'll lament that I didn't check the TOTO results etc and I'll take the mini-bus home but it doesnt stop there, it passes by my home but it stops at Bedok MRT and I'll spend another 45 mins trying to get home where it is so close yet so far away. 730 home, Kiki will either be awake or falling asleep so it depends on her wakefullness before I know if I'll be bathing or playing with her. She doesn't giggle or gurgle with me as much as she does with Bren or some other people. Maybe my voice is not high pitched enough or have she not seen enough of my face. Sometimes at work, I forget that I have a baby. In fact, I don't know what's the matter with me I don't feel motherly. yet, is it yet or is it I never will? I don't have that whinny dependency or attachment to her. Is there something wrong with me? I dont know what to do with her and I got lazy and did not do much with her. Should I be singing, reading, laughing with her? I dont know, it seems that all she does is to drink milk, cry, cranky and sleep. I need activities, I need more. I need to do more. More of what? I don't know. Get out, get out. Just go anywhere with her. Can't wait for the ghost month to be over, can't wait for fasting month to be over. Then I shall bring both Kiki and the maid out. To visit anyone, visit relatives, to go get some nice food maybe. The maid has been good and bad. Got to forget the bad things and look at the good. The good thing is that she is good with Kiki and I guess that is the most important thing. So forget the part about her hubby calling her more often than I call my mom. I dont think it is right to find fault or be unhappy with the person caring for your baby. Afterall, they care for your baby. All the more I must learn to like her. Be loving. Be embracing. And be giving.
I am excited that I am having a weeks off in November, the week of my birthday but I have no idea what to do with the free time. Should I book a chalet, who will come. Should I take a holiday, where to go. I told Brendan that I will just take the KTM train to anywhere it will stop in Malaysia and just get lodging for the night and move from town to town. He says that is not much of a plan. I think I will just take a holiday by myself. I would like to do that. Good.

24th August Monday

2009-08-24T12:49:00.006+08:00

It has been four weeks since I've returned to work and work is more or less still the same, busy and stressful. I must learn to relax and slow down or this is really not helping. At least I still do enjoy part of my work, just not the stress that comes along with it. Anyway, I am glad that finally the company bus goes to Bedok MRT where I can then get another bus back home. I do hope to reach home much earlier and I shall aim to be home by 7.30pm latest. Also, I'm going to check out the gym at Grand Mecure Hotel so that I can do the treadmill and swim at the pool regularly. Yes, I have to loose weight now. Eat well, loose weight and then build up my health for another baby. Yes, we would really like to have another baby. Must take care of our health now. Sale of the old flat will complete next month (end Sept) and we shall have our big pay day. I am so excited for it and we'll celebrate the joyous event. I'm so sorry I havent been writing here, life is pretty busy lately. But life is good. Take care my friends and hope to hear from you once in a while.

Returning to work

2009-07-23T22:23:00.006+08:00

I'm returning to work on Monday. I have no feelings pertaining to it.
Whatever comes, I'll adjust.
I'll just make myself happy Every Day.

Kiki baby is doing fine, though ocassionally there'll be some crying spells in the middle of the night. My maid pulled the cord to the musical box at 3 in the morning, the noise was piercing. I told her not to do that again as it will disturb the neighbours. I also told her not to do that if I'm sleeping, cos I'm a light sleeper. Ever since becoming a mom, I spring up from bed at any odd hours when I hear my baby cry. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6am, get the picture. I now understand why my colleagues yawn in the middle of the day. I sure hope I won't do that. I dislike people yawning out of the blue. I think that if you yawn in the middle of a conversation you're being very rude. And I am disgusted when I walk into a store and the sales person yawns. The only person who yawns and I find it adorable is that of my baby. (well, well, well) She was born yawning and she yawns pretty much. Everyone who sees it will tell me she's sleepy, which is not always the case. I guess she just needs more oxygen for her brain that's all. I have yet to bring Kiki to my office though I think it will be nice. Well, let's hope it will happen tomorrow. I've been cooking quite a bit lately but it is no big deal, cos all the fancy dishes comes with pre-mixed sauces in a sachet. That is like cheating in a test so I don't take credit for it. I think I should lighten up cos all I do is being hard on myself. I don't know why I'm like this and I hope I can be kinder to myself like I'm kind to others. I thought of visiting ION - the new shopping place at the heart of Orchard but I will feel guilty if I spend time away from my baby, more so now that I'm left with just a few days of leave. I read in a magazine that there's a thing called "working mother's guilt" and it says we ought to overcome it. A happy mother will bring about a happy child, so please throw the guilt out of the windows. I hope you will get used to me writing in this style, probably with lesser and lesser pictures while I just rattle off whatever's on my mind. I went to "swim" in the sea this afternoon and am glad that I've got a tan. But the legs can do with more tanning while the arms can take a break. It is not easy to work a tan if you're not lying flat on the ground. Nobody does that at East Coast, not on a weekday at least, hence I'm too conscious to the attention if I do. Nowadays, on a weekday, be prepared to have China nationals men checking you out if you're swimming at the beach. They are more blatant than the locals. If I were a lot slimmer I probably wouldn't care two hoots. Oh but thanks to them the beach is clean. I see China men picking up rubbish along the coast in the morning. They are probably cleaning contractors. Our Singapore is so clean because we've got people sweeping the roads, the parks, the estates. We've got foreign contractors prunning the trees and planting wild flowers on road dividers. Once I saw a man counting and recording the numbers of flowers that were freshly planted. They probably get paid by the clusters. So much so for a green city, it's systematic and robotic. But oh no don't get me wrong, I do like the trees. We've got so many giant ones around, feels good. The fake-feels are the flowers. My maid has a cynical sense of humour. The boy's balloon burst while he was at the playground and she said "bomb Jakarta, bomb!" what kind of joke is that. As you can see, I can go on forever but your eyes need rest. Goodnight.

Being Busy

2009-06-16T20:52:00.002+08:00

Every day is a busy day. Now that we've sold our old flat, we're in the midst of transporting all the stuff we've packed, over to our new place. There is just so little storage space here and I'm immobilized, I can't seem to get any packing done! Stress, stress. Designated this whole week to packing but Harjit visited today, and so we spent the time chit chatting with an old friend. We've not catch up in the past 3 years! Then, Bren & I went walking along the beach. Breeze walk we call it. Nice. Can work out a sweat. I'm being rather conscious of my weight & figure.... back to that fat figure of 58kg.... how to loose 10kg? There's just so many things to do. Trying to spend every minute as constructively as possible when I'm with Kiki. Oh, brought her to the market this morning. She was quite curious on her surroundings. All the aunties asked if she was a boy =/
Other than that, she's rather cranky, demanding and manja, always wanting to be held, cuddled and entertained! Talk about royal treatment. I don't know if we're doing it right but well,,,,,,,, for the time being, whatever makes her stop crying will work for us.
Weds- will be out with Aunt Serene
Thurs- Jac, PW & Joy are visiting
Sat- Going to Godma's place

Pack, pack, pack!! Help.

Life is Good

2009-06-03T14:20:00.002+08:00

Life is good.

I get the chance to take a break, surf the net, go to the beach, go shopping.
There are still lots of stuff unpacked and disorganised but I'm in no hurry.
Lazy.

I feel guilty if I'm away from Kiki in her waking hours.
I feel that I ought to be playing with her, bonding with her, as much as I can while I'm on leave.
So, I'ld better get going.

This weekend, Ex-Bintan colleagues are coming over.
Next Tuesday, it will be the Reiki friends.
Then the Marinehub people. And the ANA people.
Then many smaller groups and individuals. Gabriel, Adeline.

I wanna keep in shape. Got to go exercise and sweat it out.

Okay, that's this much for now.

Life's good.

Take care.

I miss it here

2009-05-29T21:05:00.011+08:00

I miss it here, and so I've returned.

Is there anybody out there?

Anyone still here? Leave me a comment. Anonymously also ok.

Ok, so I'm back. Back as me. Ya, I'm a mom now but I'm still me. I think I need my identity still; you know,, me as a functional or sometimes dysfunctional human being. Being real, being stupid, being selfish, being selfless, being generous, being petty. Whatever. Just being me.

I think the last time I had a real entry was before I gave birth to a lovely baby girl. So much has happened and I do wish to remember it. Let me see where to begin. Ok, firstly, I haven't lost my angst and so you can be assured that I have not changed much. (definition: angst - an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety; usually reserved for philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal freedom)

My water broke at about 6 in the morning of 4th April. I was peacefully lying in bed with Brendan, we were both so peaceful, soaking in the atmosphere of an early morning and the up and coming events which were: having a baby and moving to a new house, and then it happened. I felt a membrane ruptured. It felt like a soft burst of a thin piece of paper. I panicked. I said, "oh shit, oh shit my water broke!" I remember my hands were trembling when I called for my gynea. And touch phones make things worse when you're panicking! I couldn't scroll to the number and I kept punching in the wrong digits. Boy, was I freaked out.

I was kept waiting till about 11am before I was in the labour ward. I think it was about 2pm when my gynea ordered induced labour drip but still my cervix did not open. It remained closed till 10pm and my gynea said 16 hours of labour is fair enough and said we should proceed for cesarean and so I was wheeled in at about 11pm. I don't understand how come nobody talks about the process of cesarean, nothing could prepare me for it. It was traumatizing. I felt like a cow being opened up and a cattle was being pulled out from my stomach. The after-hours was worse. My womb was still contracting (the drip for inducing labour was still in effect, even as the painkiller wore off!) my god, during those hours, I wished I was dead. Of course now that it is over I am fine but then, I thought death was less painful then what I was having. I remember thinking to myself that if I survive this, once is enough, one baby is enough. But when I saw Kiki, I realised that she needs a sibling. You know, to rely on. They can have each other when we're gone. And so I know that I have to have another one. The power of Two. Just look at me. I have my sister. Eventhough she came seven years later, I still do rely on her for strength. I am stronger because I know I can count on her. I am stronger because I know she can count on me. And so it is.

Then came the breast feeding saga.
I was so stupid, I took breast feeding too lightly.
I messed with nature and I paid the price. A very high price. It was hell.
I thought I would try to breast feed and so the nurses brought Kiki to me to stimulate milk production. On the day that I was discharged, my breasts were engorged in the evening after I got home. They swelled to the size of ruby balls and they were hard like stone. I was in pain, pain and tremendous stress. I felt sick, feverish, cold and hot all at the same time. My armpits swelled to the size of an apple and I was horrified. For two days, I pumped out the milk for 4 hours in a row and they all came back engorged within an hour. I was forever pumping and my nipples cracked and blood came out. It was pure hell. I never got a wink of sleep for 4 days straight and I was loosing my mind. I was terrified and prayed for divine help. I regretted that I took it too lightly. It takes a lot of commitment to breast feed and I wasn't ready. I wasn't the type. I am not the typical , self-sacrificing mother. I feel that I contribute better in a thousand other ways. I just am not ready to be so great a mother and I have no guilt that I do not want to breast feed. I got so angry that the medical professionals made it so difficult for me to quit. They lectured me, persuaded me, pressured me, threatened me and bullied me. I felt like a victim and was very emotional. To hell with them, they were biased and it is not fair that they forced it on me. I battled the nurses, I battled the doctor at the A&E. Eventually, I got to see my gynea and he empathized with me. I said it was unfair that they taught me to induce milk but refused to let me stop. The whole thing was not an informed choice and that breast milk IS OVERRATED. I think some of them will want to burn me on a stick. I was fighting an army of activists and I felt the weight and fury all burdened upon me. Finally, I got my strength back and I fought my way to obtain the pills to help subside my swelling breasts. It was over. It took about a week to settle off. I've learnt a painful lesson. Jump with eyes opened. Never jump with eyes closed.

And so, one week was spent settling my physical and emotional problems.
I quickly regained my focus and focused on Kiki. I picked up skills from the confinement nanny. I was hands on, I fed, bathed, burped her.

Then came the move.
I cried so hard that morning we left commonwealth.
I cried so hard that Brendan cried with me.
I have to let it out.
I love that place eventhough it was small and cramped.
I felt that I was forcing myself to move on.
I don't know.
I still do miss it. I have lost my foothold. It was a place I felt it was my home.
I grew in it.
But then it is just like this.
I have to move on. I have to progress with life.
I can't just hold on and not grow.
And so I let it go.
On the way to our new place, I said goodbye to everything I see.
I was heart brokened.
I didn't look forward to the new house as much as Brendan did.
I had to learn to like it.
I only liked the bigger space.
And the sky.
I could see the sky now.
From my windows.
I liked that.
Yes. I liked that.

I guess I will learn to grow here.
Grow my memories.

Our guppies died.
I cried.
They were like the remains of the old flat and they died.
They were the third generation from the original generation.
And they died.
All swept clean. As if someone wants to sweep me clean. Cleaned from all memories of the old flat.
Okay, I get it.

And so it is.

Migration

2009-04-14T19:19:00.003+08:00

I have migrated to

http://www.rachaeljoan.blogspot.com

See you there.

Feast of Love

2009-04-01T15:12:00.023+08:00

I watched this over HBO last night, starring Morgan Freeman (Harry), Greg Kinnear (Bradley). I watched from halfway through the plot, but it was already quite good for me. I will catch it from the beginning on a re-run I suppose.

The story is about love in its many forms. Romantic love, parental love, grief on loss, gay love, as well as love affair.

Harry, an old, university professor took indefinite leave to grief over the death of his only son who died over drug abuse. He said, how could he not see it? How did he miss it? (His son was a medical doctor and who would think that he had a drug problem?) Harry is remorseful and begins to distant himself from his loving and patient wife. He told Chloe (a young adult who has recently found love), to"get pregnant immediately when you get married. after the baby's born, do it again. have two." He said to her.

Bradley runs a coffee shop business, his wife left him for another woman, he was devastated. How did he miss it? He questions himself. He fell in love with his realtor, who broke off a long term affair to marry Bradley, but later left Bradley and reunites with her lover who eventually left his wife. Devastated for the second time, Bradley tried cutting off his pinky finger and was rushed to the hospital. He fell in love with the doctor who attended to him. Good thing that the latter was also in love with him. So he finally found someone who loves him as much as he loves her.

Oscar works at the coffee shop. It was love at first sight when he laid eyes on Chloe. The young couple knew they were meant for each other. Money was tight, they had to bunk in at friends' apartments. They want to be together. One day Chloe went to a psychic about her future, the psychic told her about the impending death of her partner. It was terrible news for her but she headed home and asked Oscar to marry her. They were married, Chloe was expecting a baby, but the fateful day came.

Below is the conversation between Harry & Bradley one late night at the park:-

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800027/quotes

Harry Stevenson: God is either dead, or he despises us.
Bradley Thomas: You don't really believe that.
Harry Stevenson: Maybe. I saw the most remarkable thing just now. I wandered into the stadium, I thought I was alone... but down on the 50 yard line there was a couple. They were making love. I watched for longer then I should have. I was envious... and then I felt sorry for them. There's so much they don't know; heartbreak they can't even imagine.
Bradley Thomas: [sighs] Well, even if they knew, it wouldn't change anything.
Harry Stevenson: How so?
Bradley Thomas: Chloe knew what was going to happen to Oscar.
Harry Stevenson: She knew?
Bradley Thomas: She did. She went to some psychic lady, predicted the whole thing.
Harry Stevenson: She believe her?
Bradley Thomas: Yes, Harry, she did. She didn't run away, she didn't crawl into a hole. She found them a house. She threw away her birth control and married him. God doesn't hate us, Harry. If he did, he wouldn't have made our hearts so brave.

Yes indeed.

If he did, he wouldn't have made our hearts so brave.

My Sweet Man

2009-03-31T13:49:00.010+08:00

I am grateful for having him.

Many times I get incensed or enraged by him.

Many times I get hurt over his insensitivity.

Many times I get angry at him.

But many times, I am grateful for having him.

He has been plying up and down to Marine Parade co-ordinating on the renovation works and waking up fairly early in the morning over the weekends. He goes over early to the new house, buys packets of coffees for my cousins (but they turned up late). He is always thinking of others.

That evening, I saw that he looked tired. Oh. And he still took the time to do my laundry. I ran out of shorts to wear,, I had to borrow his. And he quickly did the laundry in-between takes.

He sent me to the hotel where I attended the wedding dinner and he waited around, went for his dinner and waited for me.

We have quite a bit of fun sometimes.

We started calling ourselves "Kiki Daddy" & "Kiki Mommy".

I asked him to take some pictures for Kiki Mommy (me),, and so he snapped away.

Then he asked, "How about Kiki Daddy?"

And so I snapped a picture of him. Half dressed but all game.

And so ladies & gentlemen, this is Kiki's Daddy.

Grammar Nerd

2009-03-31T10:44:00.029+08:00

Janice recommended me this blog some time ago and I do enjoy this guy's humor
http://metrodad.typepad.com/

He talks mainly about being a dad to a 4-year-old.

Then there was this entry about him being a "Grammar Nerd" (entry March 08, 2009)
I laughed to myself because I am also sometimes like that, you know, getting either on others' nerves by correcting their speeches or getting on my own nerves by not correcting them!
The thing is,, my grammer is less than perfect and I am sure I make numerous fundamental mistakes too. I am not the authority, no where close. But, still, I cringe when I hear broken-English sometimes, and I am unforgiving with commercial companies / businesses making grammar mistakes on their prints or websites. I often wonder,, once, someone asked me if a fat person could judge another person for being fat or ugly. She said, if you're not good looking, you cannot critise another person on the looks. She said unless you are very pretty or gorgeous, then you have the right to comment. Err.... that doesn't seem to make sense to me.

So anyhow,, I cringe each time my colleague says "Did you heard me?", "Did you received my email?" I cringe. And they always ask "can you borrow me your charger".

Recently, I was surfing an on-line store which sells baby stuff.

Quote from the webiste:-http://www.pupsikstudio.blogspot.com/

"It has been a hectic week for us at Pupsik Studio! With much excitement, we are happy to announce that our new pouch designs have arrived! Not only do we have more colours and designs this time, we are also introducing reversible ones for those of you who like having 2 pouches in 1!

While design aesthetics have always been important to us at Pupsik Studio, we never compromise on other important aspects such as safety, cost and comfort. All our pouches and made from special durable fabric with a slight stretch and triple-stitched together with one of the strongest and best quality thread available in the market. So fussy we are about the safety of our pouches that we actually sent them to be tested by an internationally certified professional body. Needless to say, our pouches passed with flying colours and has been proven to be able to carry weights up to 20kg without any visible signs of stress." End Quote

Firstly, having a REVERSIBLE design DOES NOT GIVE YOU TWO POUCHES IN ONE!
IT GIVES YOU TWO DESIGNS IN ONE POUCH!
Gosh, DO THE MATH!
You use one side of the pouch on day 1, fine.
You turn it inside-out on day 2 to use it, you're still having one number of pouch.

Okay, so this isn't a grammar mistake, I know!
But it still irks me.

Next;

"So fussy we are about the safety of our pouches that we actually sent them to be tested by an internationally certified professional body."

Sent? If they had only done it once and don't plan to do it again, then "sent" is ok.

If testing & certification is an on-going part of their manufacturing process, then the word should be "send".

ok, ok. I shall not write further.

Ciao.

Earth Day

2009-03-30T13:26:00.009+08:00

In support of Earth Hour, (or was it Earth Day?), we were supposed to switch off non-essential lights & electrical points for 1 hour between 830-930 pm on Saturday 28th March. We joked about it cos I'll be at a wedding dinner. We joked that maybe I'll be eating with candlelights. Well, it didn't happen. It was a regular dinner banquet. Good thing it started at 8.00pm, not the usual 9 or 930pm! Nevertheless, it was really a struggle for me to attend. Eventhough I only had to walk from the drop off point, to the banquet hall, and back to the lobby, the pain / ache at the bottom was quite severe that night, despite resting for the whole day.

I don't know how else can I ease the discomfort besides limiting my walking to as minimal as possible.

Cousin Anna said I should prepare at least 5 sets of front-buttoned blouses / pajamas. Good idea but I need to go get them and now I can't really walk too much......... I wanted Marks & Spencer but Val said don't waste $$, go get from the market. Well,,, logical, since I'll only be using them for a short time but I'll look so terrible in them. Well,, we'll see how it goes.

Propping Up

2009-03-30T13:12:00.007+08:00

View from the floor

I spent half a Saturday propping up my feet to make the water retention go away.

Luckily it works.

I find it very warm and peaceful just to lie on the matress on the floor.

I looked around the room, it glowed with sunlight and I felt very contented and peaceful.

I like being alone. I am quite a loner really.

Browsing through O magazine, reading about how Oprah struggled with her weight & thyroid issues and how she finally decided it is not about weight but rather, about self-love and embracing optimal health. About some people choosing "Simple Lives", leaving their city homes to live in the forest, about a woman saying how she stopped dying her grey hair cos she does not want to hide herself anymore.

One Updated Look

2009-03-27T17:05:00.003+08:00

Not Glam, just One Updated Look.

My Swollen Feet

2009-03-27T16:54:00.003+08:00

Oh,,,, so ugly,,,,,,

The effects of being pregnant.... swollen feet.

I count myself lucky that I only get this now...

Bear with it. It will go away.

Meantime,,,, I have ugly feet!!!!!! =(

~*sob*~ *sob*~

Earrings

2009-03-27T16:49:00.004+08:00

My collection of earrings.

Mainly hooked, dangling ones.

Why?

Simply because it only takes a second to put them on.

You know, I'm lazy.

Make A Wish Ticket

2009-03-27T16:41:00.005+08:00

While packing my stuff, I found some "21" bus tickets in my "treasure chest"

These tickets are a least 15 years old.

When in school, there was a fad to collect bus tickets with serial numbers adding to "21", for an example, if you get serial number 5835, means you add 5+8+3+5= 21. You can then use that ticket to make a wish. We always do this and feel that it is effective. One ticket for one wish.

This is some time in 1987 and I did this till I started working in the 90s (!!!!!) and to think that I saved these remaining tickets, oh I must have been taken in by this magic. Ha Ha.

Pettiskirts

2009-03-25T16:40:00.003+08:00

Ai Yo! I love the greens & oh, the sunshine!

Pettiskirts for girls. www.pupsikstudio.blogspot.com and other baby stuff like sling pouches etc.
Mini bean pillows, plush pads, maternity stuff.

Portraits

2009-03-25T11:29:00.003+08:00

Artist: Claerwen James

I like pop art, portraits & abstract (in this sequence).

One day, I will paint like this.

One day.

梅阑芳 Mei Lan Fang

2009-03-24T13:07:00.029+08:00

The man who brought Peking Opera (Beijing Opera) to New York in 1937.

I am always enthralled by someone who lived through the ages, through major historic or cultural events. For instance, Mei Lan Fang, an opera artist- who lived through modernization, brought the first ever Peking Opera performance to New York, lived through second world war and was born in 1894, pigtail era! That is like one hell of an exciting lifetime. (If you survive that is)

Okay, what did I observe from the movie?

Firstly, revolution, resolution to stick to your guns in times of cultural upheaval.
Mei Lan Fang challenged his mentor in artistic terms. In the past, his acts were limited to silent performance, sitting at a corner and was like a prop character. When he ventured to a slight tilt of his head or by showing his profile,, the crowd went wildly crazy for him. He then challenged his mentor who agreed to have simultaneous performances where the performer with the most sold-out performances is winner. Defeat was too much to bear for the old mentor and he took his own life. Still, he encouraged the young performer to venture. 输，不可怕，怕才可怕。 There is no fear in loosing, there is only fear in fearing.

Secondly, I don't think I can understand the degree of sticking your ego to your passion.
The Japanese general commanded Mei Lan Fang to perform for them, either that or die.
Mei Lan Fang chose to die. He said no one would later on watch a "tinted" Mei Lan Fang should he perform for the enemy. This sentiment is the same with many war heros. But don't they think they should safe their lives so that they live on to contribute? I think we modern people may never know that degree of dignity they have.

Lastly, 悲美
Why do I say this?
Mei Lan Fang was a lonely boy, a lonely teen, a lonely adult. His suppossedly unique and supreme skills were by-products of his loneliness, melancholy, or some form of pining, longing for something missing. When he found his true love, he was all delighted, wanted to go on dates, was a happy man. But his "support system"- the people around him, his wife, his managers, business partners, All thought that it was disastrous. They forced them to seperate. A happy man will not be a good artist they deemed. They think that love will destroy him. And so the lover left him and his life was sacrificed for his art per se. Does it have to be 悲 to be 美? Why is this theme so common across artists of all era and cultures? Does it mean that the general public unconsciously enjoy being sad or see sadness as a form of beauty?

Weekend of 21st March 2oo9

2009-03-21T17:46:00.015+08:00

I was out of action these few days mainly because I was having some kind of pain at the pubic bone. The doctor clarified if I was talking about my left and right thighs cos that is more probable to pain rather than the pubic bone area but I said no, it is the pubic bone. He then asked me to point out to him where exactly am I talking about, and so I pointed to the centre of the bottom which is the pubic bone alright. I mean, I did take Human Social Biology for my O Levels and I did score a B3 though I don't think you need to learn the subject to know what a pubic bone is but nevertheless I think the doctor was just trying to be sure he understood me correctly. So anyway, his guess is that baby's head is at the bottom hence the pressure and true enough, it is. Which is a good thing and that he said baby's head is quite big, hence the pressure again, which I think is expected, given that both Brendan and I have averagely bigger heads too. And I do hope that Kiki (baby's baby name) will make good use of the bigger brain mass and be cleverer and more intelligent than either of us. So as I was saying, I had to restrain myself from walking too much or even sitting upright for too long cos sometimes the pain is quite severe that I have problem lifting my legs to put on my pants. Given that I am so used to moving about, this self-imposed constraint takes some getting used to. Can you imagine I gave up shopping on Thursday just after 30 mins of walking, and to think that I took a cab home too. So, come Friday, I was homebound and been watching the stack of DVDs that Val loaned to me. I watched them over the laptop though, cos my TV is going kaput and has black lines across half the TV screen. It has been raining more than cats and dogs given the relentless lightnings and thunders, I talked to Kiki to let her hear my assuring voice over the thunders at the background. The rain recently is very severe, it unplugged over 20 medium sized tress at Jurong and the ironic thing is that at other times, the weather is so humid and dry that we perspire a lot. The adverse effects of global warming that was once a textbook theory is happening at our backyard.

Oh ya, met up with Steph for dinner last night. Did some catching up and she's also having a baby girl this year! It'll be her second girl and she's due in July I think.

Today is painting day at our new flat. you know, as much as we try to cut down on the renovation, it is still gonna cost a substantial amount, but like I've told Brendan, we'll just do whatever's necessary and whatever we can squeeze in, then leave the rest to phase II. The contractor we've got is really slow with the work and I guess we will have to give him some pressure to get going. He has only removed the kitchen cabinets and nothing else much in the 2 weeks that passed. We really need to complete all works in the next 2 weeks as I still need some time to get settled in before Kiki comes along and I have a hunch that she might be early. Whatever the case, I hope baby can wait a while more cos she has to gain some more weight. Talk about that, I'd better go get dinner. Anyway, we also need to get used to living in the new flat at least, and I've got to go collect all the baby stuff that my friends are handing down to me. The crib, the clothing, they all need to be washed don't they? And I still do not know what else I need to prepare....... gosh, talk about being last minute. So anyway, today is painting day and my brood of cousins had volunteered to help. So there they all are and I'm at home. I feel like I'm missing out some fun though. Well,,, really grateful for their helping hands.

The case of Hoodwinking the human mankind

2009-03-18T17:32:00.010+08:00

There was drama in my office last Friday & part II on Monday.
It affected the office atmosphere and I was rather upset for 3 days.
Today, I decided it was unhealthy for me to be occupied with this, hence I did a sketch to express how I saw what happened.
I am appalled by how a person could come up with trickery and how some others would be hoodwinked. Emotions ran high, but due the refusal to talk in an open manner, they continued to be deceited.

Well, I have pinned the sketch on my pedestal prominently.
For anyone who may get the message.

You know,, in the olden days where the commoners would be beheaded for commenting about the king, they embed their messages in the forms of songs, poems, idioms, puppetry, paintings, dramas & nursery rhymes.

Picture Like This

2009-03-14T11:10:00.002+08:00

I like picture like this.

Last week, I read about a nobel man,,,,, who according to the article is an artist.

He runs free painting & art workshops for ex-prisoners, HIV patients, unemployed, the destitute. He says art is a form of theraphy, which i fully agree and applaud. What i had to "party-poop" here is that the things he does for those people are not art! Come on,,, painting on clay or wooden templates on mass fabricated materials are what,,,, art & craft. Not art. He went on to say about how he also consults his teacher from Paris etc. If that piece of thing did not stir or intrigue you,, how can it be loosely called art. (note that i didn't end with a question mark)

Of course his efforts goes a thousand miles, but it is not art.

TV from the 70s

2009-03-14T10:55:00.006+08:00

Someone threw away an antique TV set at the lift lobby area.

My uncle used to have something similar but it was a more modern-looking Aiwa brand if I remember correctly. There is a shutter in the front that could be locked. I think it was because in the past, watching programmes from the TV was a luxury and was a controlled activity. Or else I can't think of the use of having the shutter. Oh,, maybe it was to keep away dust.

I wonder why did my neighbour keep this apparently broken TV for at least two decades before discarding. (there are cobwebs on the frame). Maybe he has just cleaned out his house.

Weekend of 7th & 8th March 2009

2009-03-09T16:43:00.011+08:00

Lunch at Khansama- Norris Road (Serangoon)

Pam & HJ

There are many friends on wait-list to have dinner with me........

I have to do it one at a time..

On schedule:-

Pam- 7 Mar

PW- KIV

Steph- trying to squeeze a date. 13th? Got to work on 14th....

Val & A- trying to squeeze a date,,, maybe 20th

MH ex-colleagues- 21 Mar

PH's daughter's wedding dinner- 28 Mar

And I have lots of running around to do too..

Saturday **

Went to CityGas to try and get a cooker-oven. People tell me the cost is about $600++ but they are outdated. Cookers are now $800++ to over a thousand dollars. We've checked like four different stores and they are all that price range. Guess what, Mustafa has the best prices. So, we're getting our cooker stove from there, along with 3 nos. Mistri Standing fans, (no budget for air-con!), 1 no. washing machine, 1 no. refrigerator and 1 no. instant water heater.

Met Pam for morning tea while we wait for HJ to finish her "whole brain development" class and Abacus class at Delphi Orchard. She still has Chinese Drama & Violin at NAFA in the afternoons. Not forgetting swimming on Sundays. Wow, that girl's schedule is full but she enjoys it.

Then, we headed to Little India for lunch cos Bren & I were going to Mustafa to survey the price for the electrical items we needed. Pam brought us to this Tandori restaurant and I fell in LOVE with its tomato soup! I loved it so much, I asked Bren to bring me there again on Sunday to have it. Only this time the captain forgot my order and when I reminded her,,, she said I did not order it!!!!!!!! You cannot disappoint a pregnant woman on food!!! It is terrible. I didn't get over it even after my evening nap! I did not have the soup back ordered because I was already full by the time I realised it was not coming. I could only blame myself for not asking the captain to repeat my orders. Lesson learnt!

** Sunday

3 groups of people came for house viewing in the morning. Thankfully the agent arranged for all of them to be present at the same time. They were all young couples and from the look of it,, they were just scouting.

Then it was that disappointing non-appearance of the tomato soup episode.

Then,,, while we were out of the restaurant,,, I had a vein in the womb that became painful. So painful that I couldn't walk further. SOS,, headed straight for home. Took a nap and woke up fine. I think baby in the tummy is growing, hence the pressure. So,,,,,,, I should better rest as much as I can. No more galivanting?

What I do with my i-pod Touch

2009-03-04T14:22:00.007+08:00

I've recently bought some lessons on baby signing on-line. I'm learning to sign the alphabets, and later on some food signs and 2 nursery songs. I am just gonna explore whatever I read or come across for early childhood education and have fun as I go along.

I play a round of Checkers almost every day too.

I don't play Chess,,, it is too sophisticated for me. I am not a sophisticated learner and I tend to give up quite easily too. So, Checkers is good enough for me.

It is not very fun playing with the computer because it is very adamant in winning. If we are at a dead-lock stance, it will go on and on flying its only King to and fro until you, - the more sensible one of the two, give up or end the game.

I now train my brain muscle to re-think a little by reversing the chess board, instead of moving forward to win, I move inward to win. Don't underestimate this small chage in view, your brain will have to re-wire a little and still form its winning strategy.

Arcade Games Alike

2009-03-04T14:13:00.003+08:00

To keep my reflexes in check, I play these arcade games,, like shooting bubbles and making hamburgers while the clock is counting down, ticking away.

Not Daytona

2009-03-04T14:06:00.004+08:00

Well, this is not as exciting as Daytona but for a hand-held device, the motion is smooth and given that this easy mode is downloaded for free, I must say it is above satisfactory for me.

I have lost the confidence & skill to drive for real, it is something that was suddenly switched off in me and I couldn't get it back. Plus I have given up on myself already. So, until the unlikely event that my skills are rekindled, I will have the cheap thrill with racing games instead.

Doodle Kids

2009-03-04T14:00:00.003+08:00

I am quite simple when it comes to games & applications.

I think I am still quite kiddish.

This is like a blank sketch board, you just let your fingers do the drawing.

Instead of a common pen or crayon effect, the lines that you form are in a string of stars, shapes, asterix, arrows, symbols; of varied colours.

To clear the sketch board, you just have to shake the screen.

I was told that this software was written by a 9-year-old Singaporean boy, for his little sister.

Wow.

Geometric Circles

2009-03-04T13:48:00.004+08:00

I like to look at this application in the dark, especially at night, in bed. The glowing techni-colours are very attractive and I often gaze at them.

With the i-pod touch, you can use your fingers to just expand or compress the circles, forming various geometric circle-designs. With your index finger, you can twirl in circular motions to see the multi-techni-colour changing, and you can draw the lines with your fingers too.

Many of us are reminded of the plastic template we have when we were young, you know, the one with 3 circles template with holes for your coloured pens, you just twirl as you draw to form geometric circles with varied number of pencil lines & colours. Now this is just the more advanced version of what we had I guess.

Exciting New Home

2009-03-02T13:52:00.005+08:00

No, this is not a newly built flat, it is old, like 34 years old.

It is new to us, as in, we're moving there soon. So, yes, this is our new home.

Chop-chop, quickly, we're starting the renovation work and got to quickly have everything done in month of March.

Oh, I was so very tired last Saturday. We went over the the flat, there was no stool or chair. I waited around only from the afternoon to evening and boy oh boy, was I exhausted. I had to paste Tiger menthol plasters on by lower back and knees when I got home! I was aching all over and I am rather prone to Rheumatism too. Really ought to take care.

Well, although I won't be physically invoved in the reno-work, there is still lots of running around and decision making,,,, so, I'll really be busy these few weeks!

Our Commonwealth Nest

2009-03-02T13:21:00.009+08:00

Our Commonwealth flat is being put on sale.

We advertised on the classified in the Straits Times last week and there were a few responds.

Because we are asking for very high cash above valuation, something like $50,000 cash,,,, there were only three viewings we conducted over the past 4 days. There is an offer made today but I don't think we will take it. Let's be patient and find that happy, willing buyer currently at large.

I will miss our commonwealth flat for sure, cos it's where it all started. But I shall just retain all the great memories and move on with my life. To make matters seem a little worse,,,,,,, there is this new neighbour on the ground floor, she is from Philippines and she has a twin son & daughter and she is expecting another baby in April. Several of my neighbuors gather at the lift lobby's sitting area which is outside her house. They have been doing that often and chit chatting. Every time Bren & I come out of the lift,, they tease us,, like "oh so loving." etc etc. They are very excited about me expecting a baby and they always say "oh, bigger already hah?" pointing to my stomach. Makes me wonder why this sweetness comes at this time when we're gonna say goodbye =(

Well,,,,,,, we can visit them as and when I guess. Or at least for now, I just ought to just savor the moment.

The Painting's Up Again

2009-03-02T13:06:00.003+08:00

Okay, let's see.

Brendan's father is working-in-progress on the wall in his living room.

Can you somehow picture what he has in mind?

Farewell Lunch @ Yatch Club

2009-02-26T17:15:00.002+08:00

When we have a new colleague, we welcome the person with a lunch.

When someone resigns from the office, we send the person well wishes with a farewell lunch.

Do we eat & eat? or is feasting part of a celebration.

I can't eat much. A regular meal is just that. An ocassional break from the office is also welcomed, to break my routine. Sometimes I work like a robot.

After the Rain

2009-02-26T12:06:00.013+08:00

Many people are in awe with the Rainbow. No doubt I'm also one.

I always think it's like God is giving me a sign to say Hey, all's good and here's a treat!

Or that it's an added encouragement for something auspicious.

The first time my parents met Brendan for dinner, there was a very huge & brilliant rainbow across the sky. My mom & I were very elated. It was like an added highlight to the event, though it was just dinner at a coffeeshop. Coincidentally, we ended up living in that estate Commonwealth Drive, the place we had dinner with my parents some 7 years ago.

Then yesterday, there was a rainbow again. Though this rainbow was half the size of the one I saw 7 years back, and it was not even half as brilliant, but it was stilll rather captivating. And it seemed to spring from our block- 89. (this is really not the case as it depends on where you're viewing it from. the sky is very huge, so no, the rainbow did not begin here). But for my self- indulgence 自我陶醉, I will take it as a good sign that we're gonna sell our flat for a very good price. Ha Ha.

We are getting our keys to the Marine Parade Flat tomorrow!! Hurray!

Then, we will be very busy for the next few weeks. Things are on track and I shall let you in on the happenings whenever.

K, baby in tummy is fine. She is stretching, rolling her limps on the surface from inside, and knocking, like tapping me over a hundred times at one go. I really wonder what's happening when she does that. Is she trying to communicate with me? We talk to her only on the few opportunities we have,, like in the evenings, before bedtime and in the morning. Brendan is so funny,, he'll go like "Kiki, rainbow, R-A-I-N-B-O-W, rainbow". hahhahahaha. emmm. For me,, I'm singing the ABCs to her in the evenings. I'm learning baby signing (yes, hand signs) and I've begin with ABC signings first.

So,,,, this is it.

Weekend of 21 & 22 February

2009-02-25T13:47:00.008+08:00

My cousin Anna has given birth to a baby boy!
She was 2 weeks ahead of her due date, supposedly in March.
Wow,, good for her, it's done! Hahaha.

Oh,,, I shall be patient with myself.
Not that i'm impatient,, it's that sometimes if I have too much time, I get anxious and start entertaining worrying thoughts.

So I shall keep myself busy isn't it?

Last Saturday, cousin Liang & Jenny had their house warming.
They live in the same area as Anna & Johnny. Sekang Central. Good thing they have Buangkok MRT nearby. Or else that place is really far. Not that the MRT makes it less far but probably a little more accessible. The new HDB nowadays looks more like Condominium apartments. With modern furnishings, it is as posh. This will make my next home look old as it is an old estate. But I would take an old flat at the drop of the hat as I am too accustomed to living in mature estates.
My parents' place was the best ever location. It is surrounded by Hotels, the Great World City and Zouk is just a traffic light away. There was Isetan at the former Apollo Hotel too. Not to mention I could take a river taxi back home from Clark Quay. Well,, the flats are being en-bloc, so,,, all these will be in my memory.

Been packing my book shelves on Sunday. Still got more to go.

Will be giving away many books & stuff.

Oh, watched the movie Ip Man 叶问 on DVD twice!
I liked the movie, not just in awe with the Kungfu master (his character) but also in awe with 永春拳 (the yong chun martial art). I am inspired to keep fit!

Lastly, I didn't know Bruce Lee was so charming too. (there was an old photo clip of him with his master Ip Man at the end of the credit roll). I should go find the picture to show you.

Saturday @ Geylang

2009-02-16T13:18:00.003+08:00

PW is back from her 2.5 years overseas stunts at Phuket & Hainan (China) and she's back for good. Said she was worn-out and would need to recuperate before she wanna work again. She may also want to have a career change. Well, for anyone who's burnt-out, it is understandable.

We invited PW & my mom to take a look at our Marine Parade flat as our house agent asked us to view it once more before the deal is being finalized. I do hope we get the keys this week so that all our plans can start rolling.

After visiting our place, we went Geylang to see PW's investment apartment. It is smacked in the middle of the red lights district and there were hoards of foreign girls paddling themselves on the street. I am surprised there were young, Singaporean-looking handsome men picking them up. I had always thought that the clients were old men and didn't think that young handsome chaps would need to pay for sex.

PW's flat bought about 2 years back (if you can remember an old entry on this), is really a good investment. Now that our local public HDB flats are at exorbitant prices, her 1300 sq ft, freehold 3-bed room apartment is a steal for $360K. We are happy that it proved to be a good investment and the three of us began to talk further about other future investment plans. We do this periodically when we meet. I call it our "Club Eleven" meeting. This is our personal club where the three of us aim to learn, share, grow together and achieve financial freedom with investments in property. Alas, we do see some progress since we've grouped up in 2005.

PW said she loves this fish head steamboat at lorong 20, so we had dinner there.
I think the one my sis brought me, at Boon Keng was better, maybe because I prefer the milky soup base compared to this clear version. Nevertheless, it was quite good too.

Surprise, surprise.

2009-02-16T13:11:00.001+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day.

A Valentines Special

2009-02-11T11:45:00.005+08:00

Me: if not, you come over in the evenings?

Friend: it's V. day!!! u guys should spend some time alone

Me: oh ya!

Me: no need lah. unless you have a date. =P

Me: we every day so loving already mah.

Friend: haha... no date... but chatting w a guy online

Friend: can b more loving on v. day

Me: we are not romatic most of the time. i think some ocassional small acts do occur,, but most of the time they are unplanned.

Friend: do u think i should find someone who has a successful career or rich or at least ambitious??

Friend: if it's a low-level civil servant w laid back attitude...

Me: i cant tell you that

Me: i personally didnt look for riches

Me: ambition for me is important though, but i didnt find it in brendan

Me: how about just someone who loves you

Me: and you love

Friend: yah... u guys were young n the attraction was so strong that u can't think straight

Me: i think that is for me,,,, important

Me: in terms of practicality, riches is important....... but riches is fickle too.

Me: what will you do with someone who may seek for younger girls when we hit like 60.

Me: so,, to me,,, the love is important.

Me: it is hard to find a right guy,, i dont think he exists. we just have to make it work or at least make it worth working.

Friend: yah... i'm listening to frank sinatra now..'when somebody loves u, it's no good unless they loves u..all the way"

Me: go with your gut feelings

Me: ah haha.

Me: you know, bren & i also have differing views abt ever lasting love.

Me: although we may feel like we are ever lasting, he is quite impartial.

Me: that day, i dreamt of quite an emotional dream

Me: i dreamt that singapore was at war and there was major chaos & unrest

Me: everyone had to evacuate and everyone ran under police's custody / protection

Me: i was with my dad and we were supposed to go back to the flat to meet my mom & sis and then evacuate together

Me: then we realised we were short of one paperwork which was needed to show the police to prove our citizenship

Me: i told my dad to go get the document and then meet us up at the flat. while i go get the people ready.. cos everyone was panicking.

Me: sorry my story is so long

Me: when i got to the flat,, there was my mom, sis, my sis' best friend and one young boy like 5 yrs old. (seemed like my son or something)

Me: the policewoman was at the door and she was taking attendance and asking us to quickly leave with her if we want protection.

Me: my mom got up to leave

Me: then i told her to SIT DOWN

Me: i said no one leaves

Me: i told the policewoman,, you leave. we are on our own. cos i am waiting for my dad to meet us here.

Friend: continue

Me: the police woman said ok, we're on our own. they will monitor and see if we managed to survive the war

Me: then i turned to my family and said, we must wait for my father cos we cannot change a plan half way through and leave the person stranded.

Me: i didnt ask for their opinion, i just took charge.

Me: so that was the end of the dream

Me: i was sharing my dream with brendan and he said i could have let my family go with the police first

Me: then the chances of safety is higher

Me: i said there is no point to survive if the family dont survive as a whole

Friend: u wanted to stick together

Me: what's the point of living when your family died

Friend: wah...

Me: i said as a family, you must strife together, like that make it or break it, you are together

Me: he kept quite, didnt argue or what but he was understanding me.

Me: this is what i will do in real life too

Me: so no matter how long you are with a person, you may be still learning about the person

Me: to quote albert enstien (sp) "the answers change"

Me: what you will do today in a given situation,, you may do it differently a couple of years later.

Me: while some things you wouldn't change.

Me: if a guy makes you tingle a little, heart beat faster a little, makes you wanna dress up a little,

Me: i say go for it.

Me: who cares what others have to say

Me: i dont

Me: find love

Me: we are here to explore it, get hurt by it, express it and most of all, to experience it.

Me: wow i can coin a quote now

Me: hahahahhaha

Friend: haha

Wrapping Up CNY 2009 with 元宵节

2009-02-09T14:31:00.003+08:00

There were actually quite a few pictures I want to show you.
Mainly of 捞鱼生 and some Teochew Dishes of the dinner we had at Ah Hoi (Chinatown) where Aunt Lily celebrated her 55th BD and took some money from CPF.
But that Kingston SD card is faulty and I couldn't donwload the pictures.
Now that I'm using this Samsung touch-phone, the photo quality sucks eventhough it is 5 mega pix. It pales in comparison to the old Sony-Ericsson & Casio Exlim (3.2). So ladies and gentlemen, Sony still has the best cybershot phones, trust me.
I hope Sony can come up with a VERY SLIM cybershot phone. I am quite a sucker for everything slim, electronically.

You have not heard from me about the yearly card games at the office.
This is because I won and lost my winnings of $4,000.
You may say that I should have stopped at $4K but you really won't understand. There is never a formular with gambling. Never. It is just a game of chance. That is why you must always only treat it as an entertainment and only play with money you can afford to spare. If not, don't even attempt it. This year, the luckiest banker won $250K & $130K in two seperate sessions. So you can imagine some other players out there have lost that much.

Other than that, I am good.

3 more months to go before baby's due. Yesterday, there was some mild discomfort around the groin (it is not a bad word, it is the body part referring to "the area between the tops of the thighs and the abdomen") and I was quite worried cos it lasted till this morning. Luckily the discomfort subsided. The dummy book i read says that it is common to have some form of slight pain or cramp throughout pregnancy as the uterus is growing from the size of a pear to a melon (or for some people, watermelon. haha). I take comfort in that but we still have to monitor our conditions closely I guess.

Timeline is rather tight for us. Hope, pray that all will be fine.
Still waiting for HDB to approve early release of keys to our new flat.
Hope, pray the contractor we have in mind will do an excellent job in 2 weeks.
Hope, pray the good, experienced maternity aunty will be available for me.
Hope, pray money will be more than enough.
Hope, pray we will have spare cash to get a maid, get a good, honest, reliable maid.
I'm looking forward to all of these, I'm looking forward to my flourished life.

Btw- Ashley, sorry didn't respond to message on facebook... office banned the site.
Yes, I'm excited for you too. Are you having a boy? I dreamt that you named your baby "Trevor". Ha ha. (quick check from wikipedia - Trevor is also a name of Irish origin. It is a reduced Anglicized form of Gaelic Ó Treabhair (descendant of Treabhar), a byname meaning "industrious", "tight", or "prudent"). Well, for myself, I have not got an inspiration for my baby's English name yet but her Chinese name will most likely be Qiqi 琦琦. That was like an instinct Brendan got from thin air. =)

CNY 2009

2009-02-02T17:34:00.002+08:00

I look really fat in this woolen dress!
But for the first time, I am happy to put on weight.
I am also glad that my tummy is finally showing and doctor assured that Qiqi (baby in my tummy) is doing fine.

Stamps

2009-02-02T17:03:00.004+08:00

I was cleaning out the drawers two weeks back and came across this bag of stamps that Brendan's father gave me some many years ago. I am not a stamp collector but I do appreciate these very old stamps, though they are by no means vintage, they are some 20 year-old. From India, Indonesia, Philippines, Australia, UK, USA, Malaysia, Japan & local ones. Brendan's mom used to be a domestic house cleaner for many expatriates when she was up and running before she had a stroke in 2000. The stamps were from the many letters and postcards from her relatives and employers. She must have been much a yakker (someone who chats a lot). I did not really get to know her very well before the stroke but I can tell you, her personality has changed. I have noticed a few stroke patients being a very different person from their hay days. For one, they now laugh much more, it is like a circuit in the brain clicked or brokedown (?) and made them more susceptible to laugh. I am not kidding, you can go observe this phenomenon.

Singapore Jam

2009-02-02T16:56:00.002+08:00

Jam is when your car couldn't move an inch even when the traffic lights turn green.

The Singapore traffic is getting very bad.

I now reach work at 8 in the morning, though work starts at 830.

Not because I am such an enthusiastic worker but because I hate to listen to Brendan's angst when the traffic gets thick. So, we leave for work much earlier than required when there are fewer cars on the road. And that is just the first leg of a day's journey.

Traffic in the evenings is worse, and there is little you can do about it. I can't be waiting for the traffic to lessen till 8 at night right?Knocking off at 6 is like a bad time. For a journey that normally takes 20 mins, you can now expect it to be 40 or 60. I dread thinking about how it would be when we move to Marine Parade where we have to commute from West to East in the evenings. Just hope we can work something out then.

Greeting Cards the Old Fashioned Way

2009-02-02T16:39:00.001+08:00

I was doing my ritual on writing and mailing CNY greeting cards during one lunch break 2 weeks back when my colleagues were all puzzled why anyone will still practise this at this day and age.

They kept telling me there's something called the e-card.

I had to reply that I am old fashioned when it comes to CNY.

I do this every year.

Happy Lunar New Year

2009-01-21T13:53:00.007+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year, everyone.

I love the Lunar New Year.

Used to hate it but not anymore.

Used to feel that those endless questions like... "when are you getting married?" etc were a nuisance, but now I know that people are just caring about me in their own ways. What else can they ask? It is not as if I'm good at socializing, I find myself asking about them about general stuff too. I have not finished "92 ways to talk about anything" nor have I practised it. Malcolm always asks me when he sees me, "so have you practised talking to the aunties like I've taught you?". You see, Malcolm told me he too was poor at socializing before. Then he started to break the mould by making small talks to the aunties at the hawkers like commenting on small stuff or cracking some jokes. He says it will get easier on a larger scale. Whatever it is, it is just to awkward for me to be an extrovert although I truly like people. Anyway, I've given up trying too hard cos I would rather be true to myself and my fine thoughts for them are worth more than some small talks that I could conjure. Oh ya, now that I'm gonna be a mother, I wonder if I should at least force myself to break the shy-mould. I've watched this wonderful BBC documentary "Child of our time" where they took 25 new borns and studied them from pre-natal to 5 years-old. The study is on-going and they will broadcast the next season after the children turns 10. It is to be a 25-year study! I watched this some 5 years ago and many of the topics interest me so much that I could still remember much of the programme. The children comes from varied social-economic backgrounds, single parenthood, step-parent, wealthy professional parents, middle-income ones and parent-on-the-run (from abusive partners). There was this couple who were painfully shy and they realised their son is also lacking in social skills. So they moved from their foresty haven to a house with more neighbours nearby. The mother joined more community activities and developed new hobbies for herself. After several months (a few short years), she has drastically become well-liked and gets invited to many activities and her son has also become much livelier and socially acceptable. I wonder if I will make the effort or will it come naturally later. There was also one very intersting study from that programme-- they put each baby in a room by himself/herself (when they were about 8 mth-old I think) and the scientist made some noise from behind the wall. The scientist would go :" Hello there! How are you?" or something like that. Being an unfamilar voice, some of the babies would burst into tears while some would be very inquisitive and perk up their heads to find the source of the voice. There are generally just these two reactions from the babies. The interesting thing is that these babies grow to become either shy or adventurous. The traits become more obvious as they grow and it is said that it is what makes some of us go sky-diving and why some of us will never take the plunge. It goes as far to say that this trait is inborn in us but could be moderated with conscious efforts. (eg: extra encouragement is needed for those timid kids to nurture them to be more exploring). Whatever the case, social skills are important and will let you go a long way, and so I think.

I am off tomorrow to the gynea and I'll be off on Friday to the HDB.
Will probably go buy some new tops for myself and send the can of New Moon abolone to Grandpa. Also probably need to do some further spring cleaning at home, not that we expect any visitors but just to get the mood going too. I am grateful for having this small flat as it has given us our own space and growth. I will miss it when I move and so I treasure it while I'm in the moment.

Ok, shall update you next week on all the new year happenings, meantime, Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Good for you!

2009-01-19T12:52:00.007+08:00

I was reading an e-booklet and liked a few points that I see.

"Every thought in your mind is a prayer about you, no matter who the subject seems to be."

"Give up all the thoughts of offense, revenge, of being injured, of self-justification, of needing to defend yourself against others' expectations, of the unfairness of life, of others getting some unearned advantage."

"Joy breeds joy and sorrow breeds sorrow. When you hear of someone's good fortune, think :"Good for them! God is blessing and prospering them, and I bless them also!" "

***

I am always happy for people when they meet a good fortune, windfall or something happy & exciting is going their way. I always tell them that I am happy for them or "Good for you!" I would say.

However, I realised that this kind of thinking is not as common as I had thought it was.

Little do I realise that not everyone could genuinely be happy for others.

Why is that so? I wonder. Does other people's blessings make them feel "less blessed"?
Or perhaps they wished they had more?
I don't know.
I think they are probably just sour or not generous.

For me, I celebrate others' good fortune just like I celebrate mine.
Although occasionally I do get dismayed that they are people who are cynical, I choose to think the better of them and hope that they will soon find in their hearts to be happy for others too.

Well, likes attract the likes, hence I shall just surround myself with like-minded people don't you think?

A Pinch of Salt

2009-01-17T11:14:00.002+08:00

To take a statement with 'a grain of salt' or 'a pinch of salt' means to accept it but to maintain a degree of skepticism about its truth.

Origin
The idea comes from the fact that food is more easily swallowed if taken with a small amount of salt. Pliny the Elder translated an ancient antidote for poison with the words 'be taken fasting, plus a grain of salt'.

The suggestion is that injurious effects can be moderated by the taking of a grain of salt.

***
Okay, I need to take a healthy grain of salt for all the negative thoughts that were harbouring in my mind. I should go sit down quietly in a corner and do this cleansing process in my mind to get it over and done with.

This is necessary because; I am expecting a baby!

It ought to be one joyous event but I am saddled with worry that anything that might go wrong, may go wrong.

This erroneous thought has impeded the flow of happiness to my heart and I am now determine to let it go.

Oh how I welcome a new life into my life!

For one, I love life!

I worried about everything, my tummy was not showing. Even at 23 weeks now, nobody knows unless I tell them.

How do I boost my deflated faith?

Every visit to the gynea is fine and progress is great, but still I would worry till the next visit.

How could I allow myself to be like this?

So for now, I will tell you more about my joys.

Baby's kicking and has kung-fu kicks that startled me on 2 occasions.

The tiny thing could kick so hard.

She is so daringly sweet. She responds especially to the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra music I play for her each evening.

She doesn't like it when I sleep on my left, on the side, although research says that sleeping on the left gives better space & flow but she doesn't like it. She will kick in quick successions and I would give in to her. (!!!)

I am very fortunate I don't suffer from much adverse effects like a typical expecting mom, I am the same except for being generally fatter and ocassional fatigue. Oh, leg cramps in the wee hours is quite a dreadful thing though. Brendan massages my legs every night before bed, and that helps a lot. Shopping has become quite a feat and I do it in smaller portions now.

Other than that, we are getting a 4-room flat at the east, at Marine Parade, just across the East Coast Park. This is another milestone and I also look forward to it. We hope the HDB could expedite the transaction and let us have the keys to the house soon so that we can do some retrofitting.

So my friends, this is it.

Chinese Project

2009-01-17T10:15:00.004+08:00

Tim (my sis' BF) has many design projects and he is the anchor vendor at the Singapore Esplanade.

There are many types of designs he does, from collateral, to prints, to props.

I remember most about his graduation pieces where they were interactive arts, you know, having one person fumbling with some arts pieces from one end and have a reaction at the other end of the prop. Errr, I think I couldn't describe it well but just know that those designers' minds are like very much more advanced or intrigued than an ordinary folk like me.

I've helped out at Tim's office on a few occasions when he needs to do a whole lot of "behind-the-scene" work. You know, cutting, taping, folding of 3-dimensional props are a lot of hard work! We always get arm muscle aches, backaches, eye strain, just to name a few. Not to mention when we are concentrating on the tasks at hand, the hours stretch and we ususally neglect to eat & drink!

Whatever the case, the end results of the projects are mostly stunningly good, which makes the effort worthwhile.

I hope more people could take a moment to take in the visusal pleasure the next time they pass by the Esplanade at least. =)

To Infinity and Beyond!

2009-01-02T12:53:00.003+08:00

2009 seems gonna be tough. Our Singapore government has warned of more lay-offs and tougher times but said that it is confident that Singaporeans can pull through it. What else can they say. Retail is poor, tourism revenue is poor and many companies are forcing staff to take paid or un-paid leave. Don't let it become your reality. Just do your best and keep the positive mental attitude on over-run.

I hope everyone will hang in there and let's trust that we will all be abundantly provided for.

For me, 2009 will be an exciting year. I hope to have an ever-fufilling, meaningful and prosperous year ahead!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Let there be peace

2008-12-29T13:23:00.002+08:00

Let there be peace, let me have peace.

I don't understand why I feel fine but I have many troubled dreams recently.

One was on squashy, meshy dead aquarium fishes, one on terrorist attack and I was firing arms at them like in combat. Another stressful dream, I cannot remember. And lastly this morning, dreamt about work related stuff: under-quoted sales, low profit margin, delayed delivery, website design and moved office to Suntec area where the bus home did not arrive till 11 at night.

My gosh, I hope this is cleansing, just cleanse away the toxics that i have please.

Collages December

2008-12-29T13:16:00.001+08:00

Adeline made me a booklet album of collages for Christmas.

It is very well done and it sums up her good wishes for me.

So sweet of her, touches my heart.

Retreat 2008

2008-12-26T10:54:00.002+08:00

This year, we have booked a room at a small motel off West Coast Road to do our retreat.

I must say that there ought to be a review either quarterly or half-yearly so that there will be ample time to adjust our actions towards the goals we've set, however, I often am not serious enough to follow up.

Well, it is high time we have a retreat this year cos we skipped it last year.
There are loads of changes ahead and I really embrace and look forward to them.

For this year end, Suhaimi is finally getting married. Brendan will travel to KL for his wedding banquet and I will give it a miss. Mainly because it is on the eve of the Lunar New Year and I want to be in Singapore on Chinese New Year day. I am still somewhat rather traditional, visiting my Grandpa & the temple is a ritual I will not miss. As I age, I grow to appreciate visiting my relatives' homes with whatever chances I get. So yes, I love the Lunar New Year!

Oh, finally too, Jon is getting married. 30th Dec. Some of us just make that move much later than others. Well, he said he still believes in the institution of marriage and asked what I think of him. I said of course, I am glad he still believes.

We could only love our children, parents, our siblings more than anybody else, so when we meet a stranger-turned-lover, it's when the love extends to become family love. By all means, pursue it.

Making Amends

2008-12-23T17:36:00.006+08:00

Every year around Christmas, my paternal family has a Christmas Party.
It is a non-religious affair since most of my relatives were not Christians until recent years. We started this event in 1987, and it has been 20 years!
The party was skewed toward a Christian theme for the last couple of years and some of us were not that comfortable with it. I felt that those sharing thingy should have a different platform as I don't feel that it is right to make other easy going people sit through it or join in with the church choir etc. The good intention does not work if it was intended for good, but for unprepared attendees, it is rather invading. Hence, we discussed and felt that it should remain a non-religious one as we have to respect the choices of the now minority non-Christians.
Whatever the case, the feedback didn't go down very well with my aunts and I felt quite caught in the middle of a disagreement. Since my aunts were still very much keen to have the party, we went ahead with it yesterday, though we were somewhat missing my cousins & the children.

I wondered why I didn't blog about this annual party though it ought to be quite a significant event and also, I have many pictures collected over the years.
There must be something I didn't look forward to talking about I guess, but now this will change. I used to care too much about having everybody enjoy themselves, I think I have forgotten to enjoy myself. So this will also change. I will also care about myself. That is why I decided not to invite my freinds anymore so that I don't have to entertain them and I can just be free to roam around. (sorry friends!). (oh with the exception to Pamela, cos she is one person I don't have to worry about! I can trust that she will make herself at home), so Pam, next year ok?

okay, the title is making amends. So, what is this about?

Amends- Apology / Repentance / Regret / Sorrow / Reparation

I must tell you, one of my aunts, she was a troubled person with mainly anger issues.
She was stubborn, hot headed and often downright unreasonable & non-negotiable.
She used to have this friend of hers who was like a buddy- 妹仔, they were closed like BFF, best friends forever type and had been hanging out like for 7 years before one of the fits my aunt had, the friendship ended. 妹仔 was almost like a family friend but we all knew too well that the problem was with my aunt.

So this was like in 1986.

Fast forward to 2008, voola! My aunt relented and made amends with her old friend. She invited 妹仔 to the Christmas party and 妹仔 came!
wow, what a spot. If it were me, I may not have showed up.
I mean, it is like how many donkey years where it was being left off, what's the point of continuing? But I am glad not everyone thinks like me. Or there will be less reunions.

I salute to my aunt for coming to terms and making amends. This must be a feat for her I'm sure and it was all worth it. That fuzzy feeling of forgiving and foregoing, oh it was kind of mushy. Good thing 妹仔 was a good sport and I must say I have a lot to learn from both my aunt & 妹仔! I think my ego is bigger than I thought it was, I may have been too proud to make amends. Many times, I would just let go. Oh how I protect my fragile pride. How many times I would not tell someone I was hurt by their actions / comments and how many times I chose to just shut off, let go, move on without them. How egoistic am I?

So ladies & gentleman, if you do find a need to make amends, tell me if you could do it or tell me how you did it for I do have to learn. ="/

Marina

2008-12-18T12:46:00.003+08:00

I attempted to paint a beautiful scenic picture and chose to paint a Marina.

It doesn't look a bit like how I hoped I could achieve but well, I guess this is what I can come up with.

I don't know why Val didn't buy the colour white, among the many colours she bought.

I do need white but I am ever so lazy to make a trip to the store.

Nevertheless, I think I should be better at abstract or is this just an excuse?

Whatever the case, I find that sketching and painting is very therapeutic and I hope everyone will explore it sometimes.

Blood Bank

2008-12-18T12:25:00.002+08:00

Brendan is a blood doner for the past 18 years.

He became more active in the last 10 years, contributing at least once in a month.

I started collecting some of the "stressballs" as I found that those with a theme are rather cute.

My favourite is the HariRaya themed ball, cos I find that that is uniquely Asian.

My veins are very much hidden under my fats & flesh, so much so that once I tried donating blood but the nurse gave up. Many times when I needed to draw blood, they couldn't poke into my slippery vein. So you can imagine how I always need to brace myself before any such incidents. There was once a doctor who gave up and then decided to draw blood from the back of my hand. So you can imagine my veins are really quite shy.

Diskettes

2008-12-18T12:14:00.003+08:00

I was cleaning out my cupboards and found a few boxes of these diskettes.

They stored my phtographs and notes. I would normally make notes on books that I read and found some theories useful or empowering. Used to print the summaries for friends sometimes.

Now that I could not find a PC or lap top to access these discs, I've thrown them all away. While cleaning out more cupboards, I began to give away a lot of my stuff. They are in almost mint condition and I realised that I really wouldn't need as much stuff. I have packed away more than half of my clothings and I still have a lot to wear. It is really time to let go of my many materials, I don't want to become a hoarder. I aim to just have things that I am using on a regular basis. That will be my new motto.

OSEA

2008-12-09T16:55:00.005+08:00

I am still very tired.. exhausted cos we had our in-house exhibiton event last Thursday. Followed by one night out for a fund raising event on Sunday night, plus yesterday's shopping, I am feeling very tired now!

OSEA

The staff put up a song-and-dance for the opening of the dinner party and I was at the front row because I am among the shorties. We danced messily and poorly compared to our rehearsals. I guess it was the loud music and the live excitement that led every one to become disorganised. But the guests all cheered with so much warmth that I felt really supported eventhough we were all messing our dance steps. That is a very nice feeling and I'm glad we had that.

Our industry is a male dominated one. There are always booze and sleezy girls. Lap dancing, if not pole dancing. Sometimes it gets humiliating but this form of entertainment is considered normal in my industry. I took a snap of the troop of girls that were dressed in sailor costumes. We called them Sailor Moon, associated with the Japanese anime. I feel that they are selling their bodies eventhough people are just oggling and sometimes touching. Human beings are still at this lustful state where they need thrills like this to be excited. I wonder how the more advanced aliens would shake their heads watching our childishness but I guess some of us are still at this primitive stage.

Embraceable You

2008-11-25T12:11:00.004+08:00

Have you wondered whose comments are you most affected by?
I mean, if the comments are from people whom I don't give two hoots about, they seldom bother me.

I didn't know I was offended by Val's comments about me putting on weight at the wrong places. She illustrated with crossed arms, holding her arms, telling me that I've put on weight at my face and arms. I didn't know i was offended until she apologised in a text message.
That was when i replied to the effect: "you ought to be sorry".
She has all the good intentions, for me to be healthy and not fat or flabby, but little does she know I do not need to be reminded. As it is, every time there's a family gathering, the first thing that people tell me will be how much weight I've either gained or lost. There is enough exposure out there to know that I am not the hot body in today's era. But that is according to the common standard that everyone consciously or unconsciously accepts.

Whatever the case, I couldn't sleep, not because I was still thinking about the matter but because my dinner was not digested and I was feeling too bloated while I lie in bed. So I decided to break the paint-set and paint a maiden picture with it. I titled it "Embraceable you"- to signify that we should embrace our bodies in whatever shape and size. Embrace it with love. The body in this message is depicted by a baby, because a baby will never go "oh, I'm too fat" or "oh, I'm too skinny". A baby is just delighted he has a body.

So there you go,,, Embraceable Me!

OMG! She's 35!

2008-11-24T17:39:00.005+08:00

Val brought me an exquisite set of water colours, brushes and paintboards.
Oh, they are so pretty, they're almost precious.
I do hope I could come up with some nice paintings,,,, something I would love to dabble in soon.

My sis handmade this unique looking bear.

I have not thought of a name for it yet but it is decidely male.
Given her limited handy-skills, I think this bear is a feat for her. Thanks a lot!
It has my name & 2008 sewn on its two feet (paws). Cool.

Brendan gave me a year-long present.
That is, two piggy banks worth of gold coins.
This year, it amounts to $833.
I thought it would be something like $1200 but it was not so.
Nevertheless, this has become a yearly regime that I quite look forward to.

Earlier on, Bren had bought me a Samsung mobile phone for my BD.
It is a touch-phone, an i-phone wanna be.
Well, it looks alright and it is time to just keep up with new technology ocassionally.

Oh, and I received my bi-yearly $500 cheque from my insurance payout.
I used to be so excited with this event but this year, it was a little dampened as my mom who is out of a job needs more money and had asked for some from us. Well, it is only our duty to take care of her needs, it is just that I have to adjust to the higher demand nowadays.

Overall, I am happy to be 35, though I used to think that that is a terribly old age!
I could remember when I was 21, when I met any co-worker who was 35, I used to shriek, like OMG, she's 35!
Now that I'm 35, I don't feel a day older than 23. I wonder why.
(Oh, pardon me, I do feel physically older though. Like I've lost the confidence to SKATE BOARD!!!! How did THAT happen?!)

Hilltop

2008-11-24T17:35:00.003+08:00

Val, my sis & cousin Janice came over and I brought them to Hilltop for dinner.
The view, though not spectacular since it is more industrial scene, is not too bad.
It was very chilly though. We couldn't stay at the viewing point for too long cos we were getting cold!

E50

2008-11-24T17:24:00.004+08:00

My parent company won first place in the Enterprise 50 award and we had a celebration at Equinox- New Asia Bar on Friday.
View from the 71st floor is spectacular, that goes without saying.
The company must spent a bomb, given that the whole outlet was booked just for us.

Look at the huge champagn, I was so afraid the cork would fly at me!!

Everytime we have a party, I would be very envious of the people who could salsa, ballroom dance or disco rock.
They just seem to have a ball of the time, how sweaty fun is that.
It is said that you will not desire, have you not possess the potential to fulfill it.
This means that I could also dance ever so with such jest, I only need to go learn it.
Okay, trust me, this is something I wanna pursue. For me, disco rock will suffice.

I'll go get a dance instructor to give me a crash course.
I shall tell you about it next time when I can dance.

Casual Poet

2008-11-24T12:24:00.003+08:00

Adeline brought me to Casual Poet Cafe the Friday before last.

It was nice catching up with her and seeing her nice wedding photo album.

Casual Poet Cafe is like a travelog, they also sell independently published books and CDs.
Everything you see there is non-mass market and individual pieces.

She also made me a birthday collage, and luckily, I could fit into the demin dress she bought for me also. She never forgets that I like green, and bought me a green clutch pouch too!

http://blog.casualpoet.com/

Many Warmings

2008-11-08T11:33:00.002+08:00

Recently, I've been to several "warmings".

Cousin Suzan moved to her new home at Infinia near Novena / Newtown and had a house warming for relatives.
Cool view,, 24th floor. Her bed room has the best skyline. She said it is very therapeutic to just day-dream watching the sky & expressway. haha.

My supplier left the company he worked with for 20 yrs to set up his own.
Enough of dissatisfaction he had, and he told me it is a relief to be on his own now that he has a good control of how things should run.
I attended his office-warming last Saturday night,,, it was a a very very deep end at Tuas.
Some phone network on the mobile switched to M'sia zone, so you can imagine how far it really is. Brendan sent me there and decided to wait for me. oh,,, I felt so bad. I told him to join the BBQ but I guessed I wasn't persistent enough. Turned out that all the guests brought their spouses/children/siblings!! to the party. I admit I should have checked with the host if I could bring my husband. I ought to do better next time. =P

I will be attending Tim's office-warming this afternoon.
It is funny he timed the office warming to coincide with my sis' birthday.
Is it a 2-in-1 party? Probably not but we shall see....

Birthday comes Early

2008-11-04T13:23:00.002+08:00

Now that I've given up on wanting an i-phone, I bought for myself an i-pod touch instead.

It is a fascinating appliance and has been entertaining so far.

I will treat this as a BD gift for myself.

Love-vine

2008-11-04T13:17:00.003+08:00

I told you my blind-in-the-right-eye father-in-law will paint again.
See his latest paintwork. A heart-shaped dartboard look-a-like motif that frames his wedding photo, and the vines above. This is quite nice and I hope he will keep this at least for the year end festive season. Knowing his restlessness, I'll never know when this wall turns blank again.

CSI Miami

2008-10-16T16:01:00.017+08:00

Lieutenant Horatio Caine

Detective Yelina Salas (sister-in-law)

I have watched so much of CSI that I am now watching re-runs of the earlier seasons while waiting for our cable channel to update itself. Well, there's an option to pay like $3 or so to watch the latest episodes but I am not fan to that extent.

You know, I like watching CSI is for the deducing that I do. But I don't watch Foxcrime's real CSI - criminal minds, where the episodes are real-life cases. Because my mind's threshold can only deal with drama and not non-fiction crimes. Call it denial but I take no interest in knowing a sick criminal's mind.

Okay, back to CSI Miami.

Character Lieutenant Horatio Caine (actor David Caruso) is a man whose word is good as oak.

He has a lot of compassion for the victims no matter their background and he always vows to find answers for the survivors and he makes their safety his personal responsibility.

Plus, his staff / team = to him. He puts himself on the chopping board before his team.

So that makes him to be the hero of the series naturally.

I have always liked him (character) and I almost couldn't differentiate Caruso from Lt. Caine as his acting is so intense.

So anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that there was something that set me thinking, and it was nothing to do with mystery or crime but how Lt. Caine handled a situation.

In the series, Lt. Caine had a younger brother who died while on duty or something along the line. His brother's wife was Detective Yelina Salas, a mature and sohpisticated lady. They were very close as a family as well as as workmates and after the death of the brother, Yelina and Caine bonded even more as they have both lost the person they love dearly. So, there was this thick bond and family love between them.

Then came a younger blond lady and a toddler daughter- Madison.

Lo and Behold! They were the brother's mistress and biological daughter.

(The brother & Yelina have a son about 10)

The mistress only came to Caine because Madison was having some serious illness and she needed the pension money that Caine's brother left for them. (She is also a genuinely nice person and supposedly Caine could tell that their affair was no fling etc)

Caine did not let Yelina know about the mistress & daughter.

He didn't lie, he just didn't bring it up.

He continued to maintain a close relationship with the brother's mistress as well as the already well establish relationship with Yelina.

The strain came when Yelina saw the mistress with Madison and the way & manner Caine looked and treated the little girl. She realised that was the lovechild of her husband.

After recovering from her initial shock, she was bitter and felt betrayed.

Not just by the dead husband but by Caine, who obviously chose to have a relationship with them.

Caine, in the show is a person who is clear headed, firm to his opinion.

As it is, he is like a crusader for the weak, so it is not surprising that he chose to take care of the mistress and his brother's daughter. But I couldn't quite agree with him when under pressure from Yelina, he chose to let Yelina go. Yelina was upset and bagan to not let Caine walk her or have dinner together, the usual stuff they did. She was implying "it's them or me". And Caine let her be. So, she was even more heartbroken.

Well, you can say that she did it to herself cos she cornered Caine to choose.

She could have left it as it is and continued her relationship with Caine but she couldn't.

She couldn't be with someone who treat her as well her nemesis with equal love.

I couldn't blame her.

Life with all its complexities is like this.

In drama or real-life, this is just one thing that gets me thinking.

So what say you?

Paintings

2008-10-16T13:08:00.001+08:00

i wanna learn to paint like that

What kind of men I like

2008-10-08T17:25:00.002+08:00

My colleagues asked me to name a few celebrities I would consider handsome / attractive....

I thought for a very long time and asked, Asian or Caucasian?

They said Asian.

I thought for a really long time but couldn't name one.

Then I said Caucasian can or not?

They said OK.

So I said James Franco.

They said "Huh?" Who?

I said,, there,,, Spiderman 3,,,

They had no idea.

So I said ok, I'll go find some photos of him.

And so it was.

They asked me to elaborate.

I said, firstly, the eyes must be soulful. ie, expressive. Joyful or sadness can be seen or expressed.

Then, it's the smile. Mischievous smiles are very attractive.

The whole package must come with brain / intellect.

And so it is.

It Ain't Over

2008-09-30T16:46:00.006+08:00

I am not a F1 fan and for the 2 weeks that led up to last weekend, I think many Singaporeans were also not very hyped about F1 (expect the die-hard fans who paid hundreds / thousands of $$). Street poll taken by The Straits Times revealed that most locals didn't even know the race date. Many locals shunned from Suntec area, thinking that many roads were closed (which wasn't the case) and retailers suffered quite a bit.

I guess this showed a lack of interest initially, that is until all the action took place.

Non-ticket holders tore down fences, stood on Ladders they brought from home (!), stood on dust bins, checked into costly hotels just to catch a glimpse .

There were 2 placement rounds on Friday & Saturday where the racers raced to get into top 15 qualifying positions. This positioning is said to be utmost important as the pole race (first position to start the race) is said to have the highest chace to emerge champion. Incidentally, it was racer - Massa, whom was said to "own" street races. (I personally think that is quite a cocky remark).

So anyway, the Ferrari team had all the prime positions and was deemed to win.

Then came the fluke accident where Alonso's team-mate Nelson Piquet crashed into the wall and the safety car came out to make sure that all racers follow behind it until the debris were cleared. So happened that Alonso was lined first behind the safety car and he had just filled up his tank earlier. (that means he could dash while the other cars probably are light on fuel). At that point, I think he was at position #13? This twist of event eventually paved the way for him to emerge champion, of course it was a feat for him to maintain the lead thereafter.

Note that Alonso started at the last position (#15) at the start of the race and his comment before the race was that he just had to fill the race and do his rounds.

So ladies and gentlemen, it ain't over till it's over.

Of course many will say that this is a miracle or fluke. But really, this is a classic case of keeping the right attitude and siezing the opportunity, which is a great lesson to learn.

The ever-popular & ever famous Ferrari is eating a humble pie now. They suffered more that just disappointment, given the many technical glitches they had.

And so, everyone is facinated, amazed, shocked or just in awe with the result of F1's inaugural night race, hosted by Singapore.

Disaster

2008-09-26T15:40:00.002+08:00

I couldn't find the mood to write much last week or so.
Firstly, my CPF investments are doing so terrible; if I sold them, I would have made 14k & more losses.
That would mean that I'll have to hold.
How long will it take to break even, given that the global financial market is down and looks like for the long haul.
The only consolation, if any, is that I could hold. That's all.

Never will I dream that I would be affected by the downfall of Lehman Brothers but I am.
It is too distressing to think about it. I can't go on to think about it.

Then came the food scare on the toxic chemical found in milk products from China.
On the recall list are some items I've been consuming- vitasoy milk, meiji milk.
Hastily read the labels- made in Hong Kong, and made in Thailand.
All common consumables are from Asia. Are they not safe?
What has become of the world.

An Eye for An Eye Makes the Whole World Blind

2008-09-11T13:41:00.003+08:00

Can you imagine I was more shocked than mad when my neighbour vomited from his bedroom window and his vomit splashed onto my window pane, onto my cushion and my laptop!!! Eeek!

I screamed upward to him: "WA LIEW!!! WA LIEW, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" (Wa liew is the slang for wa lau, which has origin in wa lan, which is a profanity referring to the penis). I don't know, but it was a reflex verbalization that came to me at the point in shock. I rushed to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of water to flush away the debris and cleaned my windows and I made like one dozen trips back and forth. The whole time I shouted at him saying:"DO YOU WANNA COME AND CLEAN IT! DO YOU WANNA COME AND CLEAN MY WINDOWS?!"

There is no anger in me, I was only flustered that he was so inconsiderate to do it at his convenience. For a man like this, I only had sympathy. I heard him coughing away, so I thought he must be suffering from one of his over drinking. This guy is most probably a Malaysian cos he speaks with an M'sian accented Mandarin in a loudmouth manner. He often has several Chinese Nationals girlfriends in his home at any one time. I think he either doesn't work or works at night as he is always seen leaving home at night. Though he fits the profile of a pimp, I have no evidence he is one.

While cleaning, I tried to summon some hate-thoughts to hope that one day the neighbour above him will do the same to him, but I couldn't summon that intention. It just wouldn't come. In fact, I was hoping he would be fine. Oh, what contrary I face.

I called Brendan to tell him there is a portion of the window I couldn't reach, there are streaks of vomit that are not new but maybe a few days old! To think that I had been sleeping with his vomit is disgusting. Brendan said maybe he is sick. I said ya, let's send him love.

Gosh. I surprise myself sometimes.

In Reiki, we learn to send love. The more the person behaves badly, the more he needs it actually.

There is not an ounce of anger in me, of course I am upset that I am cleaning up a stranger's vomit. I could only hope he doesn't do it again cos if he really does, I will have to invite him to my home to clean up his mess.

An Eye for An Eye makes the Whole World Blind.

881

2008-09-11T13:35:00.004+08:00

It was so hard for me to watch the movie <<881>>.

Had I known it was gonna be this hard, I may have not watched that DVD.

Well, the theme revolves around 2 girls whose passion was for Getai Singing.
How they prayed to be good at it and how competitive it is at our local scene.
The sitgma the singers face as well as the lewd environment associated with Getai.
The hard part for me was that one of the girls was terminally ill. But she struggled to live her dream as dignifyingly as possible and faced fierce competition with feisty. Though she succumbed to the illness and died, she lived her dream.
I don't know why I should be feeling so sad when there's actually such bravery, support and love all over.
Movies like these had never had such a sting in me before. If I could be honest about it, I could only say that it now does because of what I went through with my dad.

I do not know what's more to learn but I've learnt to take the good, the bad, with a good attitude.
Isn't it how?

The End of Being Cranky

2008-09-11T13:32:00.002+08:00

I tried to understand why I was so cranky over such trivial matter (in entry below) and realised I had over-reacted.
So sorry you had to see it.

You know, it is really harder to do than preach.

Many years ago, I read about "reverence" - having understanding for people in situations, and extending that understanding to somewhat strangers. For instance, the driver in front of you is road hogging and driving mindlessly. It drives you crazy and you drove up next to him to give him the finger, no, to just tell him to hey! stop road hogging, you don't own the road. As you drove up to him, you recognised that hey, he's an old friend you haven't seen for a long time. You pull him over to say hello and to tell him it is dangerous to drive in that manner. Before you could start, you see that his face is grey & gloom. You ask what's wrong? He told you his wife just died and he is on the way home to break the news to his 3 boys. Immediately, you forgive him. And you blame yourself for being so worked up over a trivial matter. That chap has a lot to deal with, you thought. And this, my friend, is reverence. Or so this is what it was titled in that chapter I read in that book "The Seat of The Soul" by Gary Zukav (The Dancing Wu Li Masters).
I couldn't fully appreciate this learning, even till now.
I find that I couldn't be finding excuses for people's "sub-standard behaviour".
There will always be some reasoning for a bad behaviour and I couldn't care more or I will always be soft and giving and then we'll all crumble wouldn't we?
But I realised that my problem is that I am giving to most people, young & old, strangers & relatives, BUT i am critical to people I dislike. So, there you go. Mystery solved. I am a biased human.
There still is a lot of revering for me to do. So while I am figuring it out, I've decided to stop being cranky and be grateful to every joyous day.

Voilà!

Help! I'm a bitch!

2008-09-01T08:51:00.004+08:00

Val says I'm too territorial.

I wanted to defend but didn't.

Cos I agree I am territorial.

Had I not feel an ounce of "guilt" being territorial, there will not be this entry.

So how?! (or so what?) okay, let me be open and raw.

I am territorial and It irks me even more when there's prolonged invasion of my territory.

The cells in my body wanna scream: "this is my territoy" (like that ah beng sitcom)

No matter how messy my work station may seem, it is neat, tidy and well organized. I can always find my stuff and they are always at a purposeful location for ease of process. Just like a production line. It only seems messy due to the constrained space we have. But I can assure you I am too methodological to tolerate mess for over period of time for the fact that I cannot live with mess. (oh no! I have no inner peace?) For the past 3 weeks, the colleague in front of me tidied her work space over and again but kept leaving her file in my space. Frequently, I put that file upright so that it lies in-line with her row of white files but soon enough, the file would be lying in THIS POSITION YOU SEE IN THE PHOTO.

Just on Friday, she TIDIED THE AREA, WIPED THE RAIN WATER NEAR THE WINDOWS, PLACED THE CLOTH ON THE WHITE FILE, AND LEFT THAT FUCKING BLUE FILE IN MY SPACE. OH GOD HELP ME I AM TERRITORIAL! ISN'T ONLY DOGS ARE TERRITORIAL? DOES THAT MAKE ME A BITCH?

ok, calm down, calm down. oh come-on.

COUNTRIES GO TO WAR OVER TERRITORY.

CLANS KILL OVER TERRITORY.

NEIGHBOURS GO TO COURT OVER FRUITS & LEAVES THAT CROSSED THE FENCE.

so, am i really that guilty of being territorial?

I am just trying to better understand myself.

you know, i haven't yet decided what to do with that blue file.

for this weekend, i've place it on top of the printer next to my table.

Here is what i'm toying to do:-

option #1- THROW IT IN THE BIN. AND DENY EVER THROWING IT.

option #2- THROW IT IN THE BIN AND ADMIT TO THROWING IT.

dreaded option #3- return to colleague and tell her to keep it somewhere else.

option #4- place it everywhere. change a location every day. (if i do this long enough, i could soon exercise option #1)

option #5- find a decent cupboard and put it in there.

I think the problem is that I've been invaded but I could not be open and confront the invader. Not because I fear her but because I do not want to acknowledge that she's doing it. It's an unhealthy mind-game!

It is so petty to even get angry over such minor intricacies and yet I'm angry.

I want to send the message that I'm not to be messed with but it is the wrong thing to do.

But at the same time, I am not saint enough to do the right thing. (yet?)

I face Duality. Right and wrong.

Secret Gardens

2008-09-01T08:40:00.003+08:00

(i was only eating soup & greens)

I haven't eaten all the salads in town but I've eaten all the salads wherever my journeys bring me.

Verdict:

DON'T waste time (& money) on McCafe's ceasar salad.

It is too processed to be of much benefit. The cheese, the chicken shreds, are all too salty.

What was I thinking. Grading: -1 out of 10.

Swensens: emmmm, not too bad, 5 out of 10.

Hog's Breath: okay, emmm 6 out of 10.

TCCC (coffee club): quite good! emmmmm 7 out of 10.

Secret Recipe: well well, by far the best! 8 out of 10. Can't wait to eat there again!

After Art of Living

2008-09-01T08:30:00.002+08:00

My company subsidized a workshop for us, called "The Art of Living"

I didn't really want to attend in the first place because I had already attended multiple similar workshops in the past 8 or 9 years. But I was persuaded by 4 other colleagues from the main office. They were new to these form of workshop but they were eagerly telling me about its said benefits which I am aware of. Just that I was lazy and didn't feel like committing to some daily rituals on Yoga stretches, breathing techniques as well as to fast without coffee. I was fine with non-meat diet for a week, it is the commitment of those daily exercises that I was lazy to follow.

Nevertheless, I thought well, just go. there surely will be something to learn. And so I went.

Since I was already on a non-carbo diet, a non-meat addition would mean that I am only eating veggies. I thought it would be rather difficult but it turned out quite fine. Though many eye brows were raised at the canteen when I took one heap of greens on my plate and nothing else. The workshop starts from 630 till 930 in the evenings, we learnt some basic Yoga stretching postures, some structured breathing techniques, a few laughing methods as well as discussed some philosophical views about life. For me, the course was not life-changing as I am in quite a healthy mind & body state but nevertheless, it reminded me about several PMA- Positive Mental Attitudes that over time, I had neglected. Like a piano that needs re-tuning, I am tuned. So thanks!

In case you're wondering what this picture is about, this was the first meal I took after the Art of Living workshop on Saturday. I did not feast on the meat in case you're wondering. I took the beans and tomato salad, Labanese style. Brendan was very supportive, he fetched me from work every night of the course. He waited around for me, reading newspaper while waiting and I really do appreciate that.

减肥成功！

2008-09-01T08:28:00.000+08:00

Ok, any further weight loss will be bonus.

Thou shall not fret.

如今以达到5kg loss, 那就从这儿保持建康吧。

Don't Postpone Your Happiness 别延后你的幸福！

2008-08-27T13:00:00.005+08:00

别延后你的幸福！

别说等你念完书，结了婚，才幸福。
别说等你有了屋子，有了孩子，才幸福。
别说你孩子长大，才幸福。
别说有了钱，才幸福。
不如说，幸福，就趁现在。

Question to us: What do you need to be happy? When will you be happy?

I thought I had already knew this and had the answers.
But when I was at the Art of Living workshop last night, I answered that I am already Happy but would be happier if I (XXXXX etc etc). gosh. what kind of answer was that!!
And to think that I knew all.

Ok, don't postpone your happiness.
Your happiness starts now.

Non-extravagant Living

2008-08-26T12:19:00.007+08:00

INDOCHINE (we gave a treat for two friends, dinner & wine)
462.67
VPOSTSINGTEL SINGAPORE SG (home phone bill)
30.15
PARAGON MARKET PLACE SINGAPORE SG (fruits)
16.40
HANG TEN-IMM SINGAPORE SG (blouse for work)
27.50
BOSSINI-IMM SINGAPORE SG (T-shirts for gang- Jac's farewell gift)
96.60
M1 LIMITED - BILL PAYMENTSINGAPORE SG (mom's & my mobile bill)
51.58
STARHUB CABLE VISION LTD SINGAPORE SG (cable TV)
60.46
BEST DENKI-GWC SINGAPORE SG (phone set for home, old one spoilt)
60.00
DELL SINGAPORE PTE LTD 10/12 (installment for laptop)
164.07
PARAGON MARKET PLACE SINGAPORE SG (fruits)
13.70
SOO KEE SINGAPORE SG (gift for sis)
19.90
OG P/L-ORCHARD POINT SINGAPORE SG (Catherine's & YC's BD gifts)
79.90
THREEPIGS PTE LTD SINGAPORE SG (can't remember!)
39.00
SISTIC-INTERNET (MOTO) SINGAPORE SG (treat for Jonathan & YS to A Capella concert)
64.00
GROOVE DESIGNS SINGAPORE SG (2 T-shirts for Bren)
64.90
WATSON'S SINGAPORE SG (toilteries)
14.55

Total S$1,265.38

Okay, the above are bits and pieces of my expenses which i just copied it from the on-line bill statement. the expenses are all very little and i do not want to be stingy on anything!
I mean, giving people dinner treat is not an often thing but we would like to cultivate the habit of treating our friends! so is buying BD gifts. It is just a yearly gesture, why stop?!

After adding petrol & food expenses,,, it is common to hit $2k and beyond.
And that is not buying myself anything I really like. (like an i-phone!!!)

I do not agree that i overspend and I do not advocate spending less.
I feel that we should all live Magnificently!
Why not!

I know the text book defination of Inflation
We learn it in Economics.

But the real life experience of Infation sucks.
Price for my eye drop rose from $6.50 to $7.15 to $9.30 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it took 7 yrs to rise from $6.50 to $7.15 but it took 3 months to rise to $9.30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I know that?
I've been buying the same prescribed brand of eye drop since I've done Lasik in 1998.

The house that we were eyeing, a 5-room point block at Dover Crescent,
was priced by HDB at $220K in 2006 but became $330K this year.
we were hoping to buy it when we're eligible to sell our current flat, but it was nevertheless snapped up by another family. Ya, at that inflated price.

So anyway, me being me, will always look at the brighter side of things.
and we seek for great values amongst times of Inflation.
But I do have to point out that prices once gone up will never (can i say never?) retreat to its old prices. (unless with intense competition or in a phasing-out trend)

So how?? Got to stick to my job?

Gathering

2008-08-26T08:22:00.006+08:00

Friday 22-Aug

Ex-colleagues gathering.

Usha has gotten married in India. It never fails to amaze me how some people have the courage to marry someone they hardly know. I guess they must have made a calculated risk and decided to go for it. Our Prime Minister says that match-making works for some, and encourages Singaporeans to go for it if necessary.

Saturday 23-Aug

Chalet @ Parsir Ris

Tim's BD celebration. The guys are just laughing a lot, playing "five-ten" guessing game not to be forefieted with liquor but with food. It helps to clear the buffet table full of Satays, corn, sweet potatoes, garlic bread, salmon & sotongs.

I always feel warm when people (friends & family) make an effort to go for stuff like that.

I mean, any party or gathering may not be like most glam or most fun. So, you do not go with an expectation of being entertained. You go just because of friendship or kinship. So, I like.

It was also very nice to be catching up with cousie Liang.

I mean, it's been a while since we chatted so we had lots to catch up.

Also, cousie Alex came like midnight and we played the ususal "chor dai di", "24" and "Gin Rummy".

I couldn't sleep much, cos I need familiarity & comfort mostly.

If you like it, then it's art!

2008-08-21T12:39:00.007+08:00

大家来看！
这是我有兴趣，没事无聊画出来的。
好看吧?

前两天surf net 时看到有位 Art Director 的作品，
心想，其实我也会嘛。
这只不过时乱涂鸦一番，(doodling)
If you like it, then it's art!

post note:
emmmmm.... unfortunately, the resolution here is terrible,,
I must have saved the file quality wrongly or the canvas size too small... too bad, cos the actual picture is sharp & you could see the intricate designs

= (

Social life, 我回来了！

2008-08-17T15:11:00.004+08:00

刚观看Oprah Winfrey talkshow；
今天主题有关aging & reverse aging.
其实main culprit is,,,, you guessed it:
<<压力>>。

压力导致种种心理，身体问题。
The good news is; it is easily reversible IF you make an effort now.

譬如: 多做运动，每天做stretching，
还有静坐，time-out. "OOOOOmmmmmm" time.

重点是注意呼吸，深呼吸。以及运动。

在我们忙碌的都市社会，真的容易 lose sight这细节。

第二便是饮食。

大家总误会减肥，
其实人的身体原本就该吃的是蔬菜，
少许的肥肉与糖类。
那位医生说，人类其实大可健康的活到整百岁，
该多注意的是压力 & 运动。
ok, enough said.

过几天我不会update my blog了。
我在家里没有internet access。
这两天subscribed了"surf per day" package。
所以才会有空整理心声，一下写了那么多。
喜欢吧?

再多两天我会在家里打扫，
ya, 不知为何，整天只想打扫。
可能我心理是有点问题。
总是想“打扫心情”。

anyway, 剩下三天“病假”，
星期三得回去医生那里，remove stitches.
各天便返回工作去。
不知工友会有什么样的反应。

星期五有个gathering of ex-marinehub colleagues.
我是在那公司认识我现任老板，
被他挖了过来，建立了新工司。
前任的工友都偶而聚一聚，但总是由我安排。
每次ringleader都是我。
唉，oh well, 谁叫我最不喜欢人们总是说说没做。
所以，偶而有时间，我便安排大家聚一聚。
有马来同胞Sarina, Noura, and Usha from India，
她太感激我鼓励她apply for PR，应为她热爱新加坡，
and finally got her PR here.
还有好几位朋友 Candy & Jac。
有大两年多没大伙儿聚了，他们兴奋着。
我嘛，，，还好啦。
我对自己说，该是时候去go down the phone list,
把朋友一个，一个的约出来。尤其是那多年没见的。
Social life, 我回来了！

今天出门去！ An Outing Today!

2008-08-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

医生说48个小时不准洗脸，我可有得忙了。
那是应为我无法办到。
也只好慢慢，慢慢地，小心翼翼
inch by inch 地把脸擦干净。
只要小心别碰到脸上的 stitches 和伤口就没事。
自我幽默一下，脸上的stitches 看起来像shoelaces.

没勇气独自出门，硬吩咐brendan下午得陪我去far east plaza一趟.

先去妈妈那儿吃饭。当然不是饭啦，
我还在免吃 carbo，
所以，吃的都是steamed fish. 美味可口。
近来在外吃的都是caeser salad，
难得有蒸鱼，那可不能错过哦。

妹妹说她少穿那双亮晶晶的运动鞋，
还是别浪费，她说给我好了。
我们就是这样，脚号不分大小，
偶而我给她，她给我。
以前还没结婚时，常俩人的皮鞋共穿,
回想起来还蛮实际。
我们的皮鞋可多呢！
addidas, nike, reebok, were the old ones we had.
我买的总是五颜六色，lime green, gold, dusk blue，
而妹妹买的总是白。
anyway,
去 far east collect 我为妹妹做的迷你相簿,相当可爱。
而且还买了三双鞋！ oh my gosh, 整天就知道买鞋！

老实说，blogging in 华文实在是费时花力。
但我想practise一下，just in case 有那么的一天，
会到祖国去工作。ha ha。
事到如今；你该了解我时常做白日梦，
也时常说笑吧！
nevertheless, just bear with my fancy. (while it lasts).
Sohcool, 没问题吧?

Pointies

2008-08-16T23:02:00.001+08:00

一口气连买三双鞋，
那我该赶紧去约一约朋友们，出去聚一聚。

买给妹妹的迷你相簿

2008-08-16T22:37:00.004+08:00

还廷可爱吧?

can be hung onto the mobile phone, etc.

随身携带

Quite a good customized gift idea.

$19.90.

18 photos

Green fees

2008-08-16T21:12:00.001+08:00

restaurant 吃的沙拉菜还好，
自己乱煮一番miso soup with soft bean curd, with egg!
其实味道还真的不错！

Regain Form 恢复原形

2008-08-15T17:56:00.014+08:00

恢复原形 Regain Form

原本就没有这颗痣的我，终于撇开心理的障碍。

老是苦恼着想除去它。。。

担心人们所说的是颗好痣，勉强接受了很久。

近来 restless 起来；找了位 aesthetic 整容医生

Dr. JJ Chua.,

就这样鼓起勇气，整了整我的容貌！

起初只是询问关于mole, 但既然要做，不如询问全部。

比如哪个chicken pox pit mark
and the huge scar left by an acne some 15 yrs ago.

最后，也顺便询问了鼻梁的做法。(filler)

请你千万别误会，这不是 spur of the moment,

而是经过非常慎重的考虑；日夜分析；才做出的决定。

因为已经面对了许多争论与 criticisms,

我真的不想为自己辩护。

whatever the case, i'm happy!, so, please be happy for me.

其实真的没甚么。

说真的，我从来没想过自己会去做这个。
well, never say never.

假如你seriously wanna know more, please email.

但若是想 nag at me, sorry and no thanks.
topic is not open for debate ; )

Family

2008-08-15T17:06:00.002+08:00

Fathers And Mothers, I Love You.

Lost Ones

2008-08-15T16:39:00.003+08:00

p.s: this is the 08-08-88 picture I was telling you about.

Goodbye

2008-08-15T16:33:00.001+08:00

I want more!

2008-08-15T16:17:00.001+08:00

Airy Fairy

2008-08-15T16:05:00.002+08:00

Fancies

2008-08-15T15:58:00.001+08:00

We Rock

2008-08-15T15:50:00.000+08:00

Sukiyaki

2008-08-11T13:29:00.005+08:00

If this photo looks familar to you, you probably have seen a similar one in my July's entry last year. Sukiyaki is our yearly affair where I meet up with YC, whose birthday is in July.
This time, we were so busy we postponed it till August and our group of seven dwindled to just the three of us. It's ok, cos it is just as warm.
Oh, ya. the price per set went from $70++ to $90++.

New Occupants in the Fridge

2008-08-11T13:19:00.003+08:00

Change is Good.